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TransFamily Speaker's Bureau Talk at Cleveland State
Lauren Raff
To the majority of readers, I am a stranger.
My name will not mean anything to you, although I have met a few members
of your support group since I have become aware of your organization. My
name and my personal life are not important, it is one of the many roles
that T play in my work life that should be relevant to you -I am a researcher
and a teacher. Over the past few years, I have taught several sociology classes,
most of them focusing on Gender, at Cleveland State University. Twice I have
had, with the help of your group, an opportunity to teach a very new level
of understanding about transgender and transsexual issues to my
students.
In the spring I attended a meeting at Karen's
home where I had an opportunity to meet some members of the group and hear
people share their personal experience. I was impressed by the openness and
support of the group. Shortly after that meeting, Karen, Tim and Eryqua came
to my class entitled, "Gender Roles". The class was so successful that I
asked them to talk to my Introduction to Sociology course this past Monday,
the week we were scheduled to discuss the subject of gender. I wanted a way
to emphasize to my students the difference between sex and gender and between
gender identity and gender role. More importantly, I wanted a way to show
that issues of gender are not as black and white or as pink and blue as we
think they are. Karen, Tim and Eryqua were able to bring all these points
and more to light for the students. They provided a comfortable space within
which students could ask questions - about the sexual, psychological, and
social aspects of being a transgendered person or the parent of a transgendered
person. At first students were interested in the "technical" aspects -"What
is the operation like?"; "What exactly did you have done?"; "How much does
an operation cost?" Next they tried to understand the gender/sexual orientation
relationship with questions such as, "Who are you attracted to now:'"; "Do
you consider yourself gay?" Tim used the chalkboard to show a very simple
diagram displaying the complexity of the relationship between the two issues.
Ultimately however, the students were able to move on in their thought processes
and ask about family life and working, issues that link all of us
together.
Because Karen and Tim were such good teachers,
I was able to stand back and watch the expressions of the students. At some
points in the talk, their mouths dropped open, their eyebrows were raised,
at other times I could see laughter, at other times sympathy or empathy.
Although Eryqua was not at the more recent class, I think she played a special
role for the students of whom many of them were her peers. By the end of
both classes, and based on the positive feedback I received, I know these
students were able to see Tim and Eryqua and Karen as people dealing with
unique circumstances, nothing more, nothing less.
I feel strongly that each of the students
who has heard Tim's, Eryqua's or Karen's story has been profoundly affected
for the better. I have so much respect for each of the speakers who stood
in front of a group of strangers and were able to openly share a piece of
their lives. My point in writing this article is not to imply that those
of you who read this article and who are not on the "speakers circuit" are
any less courageous. Getting up every day and living life in a world that
can be nothing short of hostile is courage enough. My point is simply that
I am grateful for the members of your group who can help me to teach about
diversity and hopefully lead at least one of my students to a place of
understanding and tolerance.
December
December 1 World AIDS Day observed at the Health Museum of Cleveland activities and discussions 8911 Euclid Ave. 216-231-5010. December 3 TransFamily meeting will feature Dr. Sheila Kirk, 7pm at the Radisson in Eastlake, RSVP to 216-691-HELP (4357) or e-mail to Kateygr@aol.com December 5 An Evening of Poetry and Song with Hazel Chapman 2nd annual holiday party $20 for dinner and show limited seating, advanced tickets only, 8pm Inn on Coventry, 2785 Euclid Ave. RSVP by Nov. 28th 216-371-1811. December 5 Gray Pride is planning a holiday party. Details to follow December 6 Trident International Cleveland Chili Open benefits AIDS Taskforce of Cleveland's FACT program 5-10pm Ohio City Oasis 2909 Detroit Ave. info, donations or entry forms 216-651-0518. December 21 Hillcrest/NE Ohio PFLAG, 7pm at the Noble Road Presbyterian Church, call 216-691-HELP (4357) or e-mail to Kateygr@aol.com. (216) 691-HELP (4357), by e-mail Kateygr@aol.com or transfamilycleveland@ameritech.net. This family newsletter is for the whole group. We would like articles dealing with family issues, especially holiday stories. Turn in articles and ideas as soon as possible so that they may be included in the next newsletter. Also, don’t forget to inform us of the date, time and place of upcoming events.
As a board certified gynecologic surgeon,
Sheila Kirk, MD is in a unique position to help her community improve their
overall medical & surgical well being.
As founder and one of the principal surgeons
of TSMC, the first full-service trans surgical & medicine center which
is located in Pittsburgh, Dr. Kirk performs GRS and related trans surgeries
as well as administers trans medical care and hormonal therapy.
Dr. Kirk is the first Trans surgeon to be
elected to the Board of the HBIGDA. In that capacity, she has co-established
a committee of Advocacy and Liaison to encourage better communication and
understanding of the healthcare needs of our community and professionals
who administer their care.
Sought after worldwide as a leading authority
on Trans surgery and medicine, Dr. Kirk lectures extensively at universities,
medical conferences and symposiums. A noted author, Dr. Kirk has written
numerous books, articles and research findings on transgender care and
management.
Dr. Kirk will be our guest on Thursday, December
3rd. Plan to attend and bring lots of questions!
TransFamily is currently compiling a collection
of Gender-Friendly service providers, businesses, and resources for our
membership and the gender community. This list should include medical, legal,
and psychological resources that have been endorsed by our members, families,
and friends. In addition, we want to include other business and resources
we have dealt with on day-to-day matters, such as stores, restaurants, garages,
service stations, hair dressers, barbers, etc.
This list will serve as a practical guide
for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals seeking assistance.
It is further envisioned that these businesses and resources will advertise
in our newsletter and/or possibly provide us with group support in the
communities, in which we live and work. Before any individual or business
can be listed, a consent form must be obtained and recorded in our files.
These forms will be made available at our TransFamily meetings. Please help
us find those that are willing to help support our community, family and
friends.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -November 6, 1998 -
The American Boyz are pleased to announce the Third Annual True Spirit Conference
to be held at the Best Western Maryland Inn in Laurel, Maryland from February
26 - 28, 1999. This three day conference focuses on the social, physical,
emotional, spiritual and relational health of all gender variant people on
the FTM spectrum and their significant others, friends, families, and
allies.
Workshops and panel presentations to be held
during this 3rd annual event address such topics as: health and transition
issues, relationships, special needs populations, law, politics, employment,
and spirituality. True Spirit 1999 is committed to offering inclusive programming
for young people, people of color and elders. Special workshops and caucus
opportunities will be available for service providers. Featured speakers
include Jude Patton, long term ftm and health advocate, Kitten (Karen) and
Bob Gross, (Our own TransFamily founders), family and transyouth advocate,
and Dr. Michael L.Brownstein, M.D., FACS, ftm surgeon, as well and many
others.
"True Spirit offers many unique opportunities
for participants that address a variety of the real life needs and concerns
of people of transgender experience," says Trey Maurer, True Spirit 1999
media coordinator. One of those unique opportunities is making health screening
available on site including breast exams, blood pressure checks and other
health maintenance services. "Getting routine health checks can be an exceptional
challenge for some trans people," continued Maurer, "so we try to remove
one of the barriers to access by bringing the health care provider to the
conference rather than sending people out to find a provider on their
own."
Other events of note scheduled for True Spirit
1999 are: author readings (Bob and Karen will be reading.) and chat sessions,
exhibit hall with information and merchandise, film festival, and the American
Boys Award Ceremony.
Conference registration fee ranges from $60
- $80 with work scholarship and housing assistance available on a first come
first serve basis. However, those registering before January 1, 1999 will
enjoy a $20 discount on their registration fee. There are two options for
registration: one, download and complete registration form from the Internet
at
http://www.netgsi.com/~listwrangler or two, request a conference flyer from The American Boyz/True
Spirit 1999 at P. O Box 1118, Elkton, MD, 21922-1118.
True Spirit will, for the third year, provide
the only annual East Coast conference event for peop le of transgender
experience, their friends, families, allies, and service providers to gather
together for education, networking and support.
Representatives from the press are invited
to True Spirit 1999 but MUST register as a press person, and sign and comply
with all True Spirit press and camera regulations. All registered press will
receive a True Spirit 1999 press packet upon their arrival at the
conference.
Opportunities for corporate and organizational
sponsorship are still available.
Bob and Karen have some space available in
the van and are able to accommodate a few others. They would like as may
people from TransFamily to attend as possible.
The American Boyz is an organization for
female to male gender variant people (FTMs) of any orientation, including
but not limited to tomboys, butches, f2ms, transmen, drag kings, masculine
females, crossdressers, intersexuals, and those who support us, including
our Significant Others, Friends, Families and Allies (SOFFAs). A Healing Circle meets Sundays 2:00 to 3:30 pm. at Lister's, 932-4880. Prayer, guided meditation, sending healing energy. No long term commitment. Come, experience healing energy.
Linda Malicki
How do societal standards on gender and gender
norms affect your life? What are the similar experiences of gay, lesbian,
bisexual and transgender people? Is there a place for all of us in the queer
movement?
These questions and more were addressed recently
at a three-part community forum on gender and transgender issues, sponsored
by the Lesbian-Gay Community Service Center of Greater Cleveland.
The series started with "Gender: It's More
Than Just Your Genitals," on Sept. 22. A panel comprised of community members
of varying gender identities (butch, femme, androgynous) talked about their
experience of defining their own gender roles, sometimes going against the
grain of accepted societal norms.
The second part of the series, "Transpective:
A Discussion on Transgender Issues, " featured a panel of transgender people
including a female-to-male transgendered person, three male-to-female
transgendered people and two heterosexual crossdressers. These people honestly
and openly shared their life experiences.
The third part of the series was called "Making
the Connection: Putting the T in LGB." Using small group and large group
interactions we culminated the series with a very honest, emotional, and
hopeful discussion on the common issues of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and
transgenders. We ended with a discussion of where we go from here with the
issue of transgender inclusion in the queer movement.
Each part of the series was attended by over
40 people from the Trans and GLB communities. It was a powerful, informative
and healing forum about an issue that has not been resolved in the queer
community.
Perhaps the most telling part of the series
was the list of common experiences that we compiled. We came up with 37
commonalties. These common issues are important enough to recount here:
Both groups suffer from a lack of human rights
protections.
Both groups are targets of hatred, violence
and harassment.
The parents and families of both groups are
affected by the issues.
Both groups deal daily with coming out
issues.
Both groups are adversely affected by the
lack of child custody and adoption rights.
We state who we are, but society tells us
what we are supposed to be.
Both groups are used as scapegoats by the
Right.
There are places where we can't be ourselves
safely.
Neither gender identity nor sexual orientation
should be the defining issue of our lives.
Most media portrayals of both groups have
been, and still are, based on stereotypes.
We are accepted as entertainment, but not
as your next-door neighbor.
We fear complete refection if we dare to
be honest about ourselves.
We are both labeled sexual deviants.
The more we come out, the more we are
accepted.
We are more similar to each other than we
are to mainstream society.
We don't fit gender norms.
We both realize early in life that we are
"different," and this gives us a unique perception of the world.
We both face discrimination in housing and
employment.
We both face discrimination from the medical
community.
Both are accused of "choosing our
lifestyles,"
Hate crimes committed against us have an
extra degree of rage.
We must both always be on guard.
We are both dehumanized by the Right.
We both have to constantly validate that
our identity is not confined to what happens in our bedrooms.
We both bring sexuality to the forefront
in a culture that wants to repress sexuality.
We are both denied our history.
Neither of us is taken seriously or considered
real.
We both work constantly to overcome stereotypes
accepted by the mainstream.
Both experience a high degree of isolation
and being invisible.
Both are hassled by law enforcement
personnel.
Both suffer from internalized
misconceptions.
Both are greatly underrepresented at government
levels.
We are both defined as solely sexual
beings.
Both groups struggle to "pass,"
Both groups are more sensitive to other groups'
issues than the mainstream.
We are everywhere! But mostly hidden.
All of the staff of the center attended at
least one of the three forums. All of us, none of whom self-identify as
transgendered, found the forums to be powerful, moving and truly transforming
experiences. GLB and Trans issues converge at so many points and are so connected
by rigid societal gender-role expectations that it was no great leap to make
"GLBT" work.
It was also clear that transgender encompasses
a whole spectrum of identities, as does sexual orientation. And that each
person experiences discrimination at various levels and degrees. We are all
"queer" to mainstream society and are treated that way.
We have experienced the transformation of
public opinion when GLB people come out. As trans people become more out
and open about their lives, public opinion, including that of the LGB community,
will be transformed once again.
In the aftermath of the Matthew Shepard murder,
we have all begun to see the need for forming alliances and building community.
Our transgender allies are part of our community, and with their support
we will build the grand army of lovers needed to win the battle against hatred
and bigotry in this country.
Linda Malicki is executive director of Cleveland
Lesbian-Gay Community Service Center.
Karen Gross
TransFamily of Cleveland is a support group
founded by parents looking for support for themselves, their families, friends,
allies and their transgendered children. The group began in April 1995 with
six members at the first meeting. Attendance at the monthly meetings has
grown and often there are between 45 and 60 transgender/ transsexual folks,
parents, children, spouses, significant others, friends and allies.
On October 25, the group received a 1998
Rainbow Community Award at the Lesbian and Gay Community Service Center's
annual meeting, in recognition of being the first TransFamily chapter in
Northeast Ohio to provide support and service to the transgender community.
The national group that helps to coordinate
other TransFamily groups throughout the U.S. is the Transgender Special Outreach
Network (T-SON) of Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Recently
the group has worked to educate PFLAG chapters and help PFLAG become trans
inclusive.
The national PFLAG board voted on September
12 to change their mission statement to be transgender-inclusive.
TransFamily's mission statement follows that
of PFLAG, which highlights support, education and advocacy as the major points.
In addition to the meetings, the group supports SSAFE, Safe Schools Are For
Everyone, along with the Cleveland Lesbian and Gay Center, PFLAG, and the
Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. The speaker's bureau has told
the transgender/transsexual story at colleges, physician seminars, and PFLAG
meetings.
The web site for TransFamily is
http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/4378/. The support line is 216-691-4357. To sign up to receive a monthly
newsletter, Send email to
KateyGr@aol.com. The newsletter is also posted on the
website.
A new chapter of Parents, Families and Friends
of Lesbians and Gays, PFLAG Hillcrest/NE Ohio, has begun meeting at Noble
Road Presbyterian Church, 2780 Noble Road, in Cleveland Heights.
The group will meet on the third Monday of
each month at 7 PM. The next meeting is Monday, December
21st.
The chapter offers support, information and
a chance to share experiences with other parents, family members, spouses,
significant others, and allies of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender
(GLBT) individuals. PFLAG Hillcrest/NE Ohio and its members will work toward
an environment of understanding and acceptance within families, the communities
and the schools.
GLBT folks are invited to bring their parents,
other family members, friends, spouses, significant others, and allies. By
meeting other GLBT folks, many people come to realize that homosexual, bisexual
and transgender people are found in every ethnic, social, and national group.
In fact, one in every four families has a GLBT member. Through attendance
at PFLAG meetings, prejudicial and stereotyped views of homosexuality,
bisexuality and transgenderism begin to dissolve, and understanding and
acceptance emerge.
PFLAG is an all-volunteer, non-profit self-help
organization founded nationally in 1981. There are chapters in all 50 States
and Puerto Rico, as well as Canada and many other countries. Chapters offer
helpline services, support groups, speakers bureaus, educational programs
and advocacy opportunities.
PFLAG provides opportunity for dialogue about
sexual orientation and gender identity and acts to create a society that's
healthy and respect of human diversity.
The Cleveland PFLAG chapter meets the second
Tuesday of the month, 7:30 PM at Trinity Cathedral, 2021 East 22nd Street
at Euclid Ave, enter from Prospect Ave. Parking in-their lot is free.
If you plan to attend a meeting of the
Hillcrest/NE Ohio chapter, please use the parking lot across Noble Road,
as no parking is allowed on the side street next to the church. To get more
information, please call 216-691-4357.
Karen Gross is one of the founders and the
organizer of TransFamily of Cleveland.
TransFamily of Cleveland was founded
to provide support and education for transgendered persons, their families,
friends and significant others. We hope to form an outreach group to promote
awareness of transgendered persons and their issues through PFLAG and to
bring awareness to our school systems, through their principals and counselors,
by offering literature, speakers, consultation and support. We would like
to publish a list of helpful resource people in the Cleveland area. If you
have a counselor, psychologist, attorney or any other special friends, please
give their information and their written permission to use their name in
our resource list to Karen, Mitch or Gerry. If you have previously given
us a name, please check with Karen to see if it is still on the resource
list.
Members of TransFamily are encouraged to
attend the SSAFE training program that will be held Saturday, January 16th,
at 9 AM, place to be announced. It will be an all day program with possibly
a box lunch provided as it was last time we had training. It is important
to have members of our group there to represent the transsexual story. We
especially need to have young teens, young adults and parents to be part
of the program.
Anyone having any questions please call Karen
or Paul (who was at the last SSAFE meeting and planning to be part of the
program).
Gerry G.
This is the time of year when families are
so important to us all. That makes it especially difficult for LGBT people
who have been rejected by their families. It is a time that calls for us
to realize that we are a family, a family that can help provide the
love and support that may be missing from our biological families. We can
make the difference between this being the happiest time of the year and
the gloomiest, for others and ourselves.
So, let's all reach out to each other, whether
it is with a helping hand or a hurting hand, and make this holiday time a
time of love and peace and families.
The Most Beautiful Flower
Submitted by Andy B.
The park bench was deserted as I sat down
to read
And if that weren't enough to ruin my day,
In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful
sight,
Wanting him to take his dead flower and go
off to play,
But instead of retreating he sat next to
my side
The weed before me was dying or dead.
But instead of him placing the flower in
my hand,
I heard my voice quiver; tears shone in the
sun
I sat there and wondered how he managed to
see
The problem was not with the world; the problem
was me.
And then I held that wilted flower up to
my nose |
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