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Community Calendar
February
February 4 TransFamily of Cleveland, 6:30pm, call 216-691-HELP
(4357) or e-mail to Kateygr@aol.com
for directions.
February 15 Hillcrest/NE Ohio PFLAG, 7pm at the Noble Road
Presbyterian Church, 2728 Noble Rd., Cleveland Heights, call 216-691-HELP
(4357) or e-mail to Kateygr@aol.com
Grandmother's FallBy Tat R.Grandmother hadn’t been feeling her best. She was feeling her age, as they say. It was wonderful living with her son and daughter in-law. But they were both into their middle age and busy with their own affairs. And the grandchildren were young adults off on their own. So she was too often alone in the large house and too often spent hours thinking about the past. But, she thought, all things considered, it could be a lot worse. One day it was a lot worse. Grandmother was alone in the large house and took a bad fall. Doing nothing unusual. Getting up from her chair. Something she had done hundreds, maybe thousands of times before. She ought to have been quite good at it, she thought. She ought to not have any problem with it. There should be no danger in it. One should not have to fear rising from ones chair. But there you have it. A bad fall. One of those falls where everything goes into slow motion. Time stretches. Amazing clarity. Almost wonderful really, except for the ending. Nothing much good about the ending. Alone in a large house. Her son’s house. But still alone. Lying in an absurd position on the floor. Shoulder and arm not working properly. Little spots before the eyes. Knowing things are not right at all. Fearing the worst. Mustn’t continue to lie here, she thought. Phone someone, she thought. So she had crawled to the phone and called 911. The paramedics came. Her son came. Her daughter in-law came. And off to the hospital on a stretcher. Then nurses and doctors. Everyone being very efficient. Everyone saying its alright. You’ll be fine. You’re in the best of hands. Its over. But it wasn’t over. Her shoulder was broken. Her dominant shoulder. The one that housed her right arm. And now she was home. In her son’s home. A large house. In her own room. Alone. Too much time for thinking. About the past. Grandmother thought to herself that one could not live in the past. One had to live in the present. Always in the present. Always falling forward from the present into the future. Falling into the future. Falling from being alone in a large house. Falling from a broken shoulder. Falling from the past. Falling into the future. She was thinking all this when her daughter-in-law asked if she would like to sit downstairs. There was company coming. Would she like to sit in her chair. With company. In the family room. In the chair that had once seemed so harmless. Would she like to come and sit in her chair in the family room and visit with company? Live in the present. And here she was. Visiting with company. Talking about her fall. Sharing the past in the present with friends. In her son’s large house. In her chair. She smiled. Not alone.
Business Referrals Being SoughtTransFamily is currently compiling a collection of Gender-Friendly service providers, businesses, and resources for our membership and the gender community. This list should include medical, legal, and psychological resources that have been endorsed by our members, families, and friends. In addition, we want to include other business and resources we have dealt with on day-to-day matters, such as stores, restaurants, garages, service stations, hair dressers, barbers, etc. This list will serve as a practical guide for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals seeking assistance. It is further envisioned that these businesses and resources will advertise in our newsletter and/or possibly provide us with group support in the communities, in which we live and work. Before any individual or business can be listed, a consent form must be obtained and recorded in our files. These forms will be made available at our TransFamily meetings. Please help us find those that are willing to help support our community, family and friends.
DeKalb Excludes Transgender Protection at the Last MinuteThe DeKalb Human Rights Amendment initially had defined "sexual orientation" according to the Minnesota language, which includes both sexual orientation and gender identity. They replaced this definition with "heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality, actual or perceived" just before the bill came up for vote on 12/14/98. In response to an inquiry by the Illinois Federation for Human Rights into the reasoning behind the last minute change in the definition of sexual orientation to exclude gender identity, Norden Gilbert, Director of the DeKalb Human Relations Commission explained that he had some concerns about the bill passing with the more inclusive language. Mr. Gilbert said, "After the first reading, the City Attorney's office was concerned that a question would arise about transgendered people. They felt that if they were asked about whether cross-dressers were covered and they had to answer yes, that it might hurt the chances of the ordinance passing at all. I acquiesced reluctantly." Rick Garcia, Political Director of the Illinois Federation for Human Rights, was present at the first reading of the bill. He reported that although there was a question from the floor about "men coming to work in dresses and make- up," the councilmen were not at all swayed by the argument. Six of the seven were firmly committed to the bill as it was introduced, complete with the gender inclusive definition. Mr. Garcia saw no need to change the language. Mr. Garcia replied, "Words cannot adequately express my disappointment and utter disgust that (the DeKalb Human Relations Commission) would consciously eliminate the gender variant from civil rights protections. It is one thing to overlook a group of people and quite another to consciously eliminate them from civil rights protections." "The original language protects these gender variant people as well as many within the lesbian and gay community. Excluding these people to protect your own interests is beneath contempt. You should be ashamed." Miranda Stevens-Miller, Chair of It's Time Illinois, added, "Mr. Gilbert's act was a self-serving denial of basic human rights to the gender variant people of his city. Quite frankly, he should resign his position on the DeKalb Human Relations Commission. It is apparent that he does not believe in fairness to all the people living and working in DeKalb."
A Letter to TransFamilyTo Karen & Bob, It was truely a pleasure to attend your January meeting and meet such fine people. Because of the conversations I had with numerous persons, I feel that I am further able to define what my role is in the trans-gender community. I strongly feel that I am on a journey and that transitioning gender is not the destination I thought it may be for me but, instead would be a new beginning. As a heterosexual crossdresser, I felt acceptance, and understanding as well as gentle pressure to fit into the fold as one of your own. I look forward to attending the next meeting and gaining further insight into what I am struggling with inside. You are definitly very special people. Brenda
PFLAG Hillcrest/NE OhioThe February meeting of PFLAG Hillcrest/NE Ohio will be held at Noble Road Presbyterian Church, 2780 Noble Road, in Cleveland Heights on February 15th at 7pm. The group meets on the third Monday of each month at 7 PM. The chapter offers support, information and a chance to share experiences with other parents, family members, spouses, significant others, and allies of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender (GLBT) individuals. PFLAG Hillcrest/NE Ohio and its members will work toward an environment of understanding and acceptance within families, the communities and the schools. The issues that have been discussed in previous meetings included coming out to family and friends and self acceptance. GLBT folks are invited to bring their parents, other family members, friends, spouses, significant others, and allies. By meeting other GLBT folks, many people come to realize that homosexual, bisexual and transgender people are found in every ethnic, social, and national group. In fact, one in every four families has a GLBT member. Through attendance at PFLAG meetings, prejudicial and stereotyped views of homosexuality, bisexuality and transgenderism begin to dissolve, and understanding and acceptance emerge. PFLAG is an all-volunteer, non-profit self-help organization founded nationally in 1981. There are chapters in all 50 States and Puerto Rico, as well as Canada and many other countries. Chapters offer helpline services, support groups, speakers bureaus, educational programs and advocacy opportunities. PFLAG provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity and acts to create a society that's healthy and respect of human diversity. The Cleveland PFLAG chapter meets the second Tuesday of the month, 7:30 PM at Trinity Cathedral, 2021 East 22nd Street at Euclid Ave, enter from Prospect Ave. Parking in-their lot is free. The next meeting is February 9th. If you attend a meeting of the Hillcrest/NE Ohio chapter, please use the parking lot across Noble Road, as no parking is allowed on the side street next to the church. To get more information, please call 216-691-4357.
TransFamily PurposeTransFamily of Cleveland was founded to provide support and education for transgendered persons, their families, friends and significant others. We hope to form an outreach group to promote awareness of transgendered persons and their issues through PFLAG and to bring awareness to our school systems, through their principals and counselors, by offering literature, speakers, consultation and support. We would like to publish a list of helpful resource people in the Cleveland area. If you have a counselor, psychologist, attorney or any other special friends, please give their information and their written permission to use their name in our resource list to Karen, Mitch or Gerry. If you have previously given us a name, please check with Karen to see if it is still on the resource list.
Either Wayyour legs. Then you pull on your hose And slip on your dress. Finally you get your hair and make-up done. When you enter the room I'm just stunned. You're so beatiful. In so many ways. I look into your deep brown eyes And I can see the love in your heart and the light into your soul Your passionate and caring Yet strong and protective. You're a Father yet a Mother And most of all You're my Friend, lover and my life So do what you need to And wear what you choose Just remember no mat ter what gender you portray, I love you either way.
Copyright: Hilary Louise Foster
The American Boyz to Hold Third Annual True Spirit Conference
The American Boyz are pleased to announce the Third Annual True Spirit Conference to be held at the Best Western Maryland Inn in Laurel, Maryland from February 26 - 28, 1999. This three day conference focuses on the social, physical, emotional, spiritual and relational health of all gender variant people on the FTM spectrum and their significant others, friends, families, and allies. Bob and Karen have some space available in the van and are able to accommodate a few others. They would like as many people from TransFamily to attend as possible.
American Boyz, Inc., no...that was not me...no...that was not me... baseball, football, hide & seek, army men "let's play war today. hey! I got a new bike. wanna go build a fort?" climbing trees, growing up & changing, not wanting to, still doing things boys did, but starting to look more like a girl grew my hair, dated boys, went to prom, even wore a dress (yuck!) felt weird, couldn't explain... I think I was in drag years later here I am... crossing the lines between what I am and what I want to be.. playing with fire standing on the edge flirting with disaster. ©alexmichael 4/30/98
How Did the Testosterone Shortage Happen?!By Paul UrbanAccording to AIDs Treatment News, on September 10, 1998 the FDA moved against Steris Laboratories, Inc. (a division of Schein Pharmaceutical, Inc.), seizing large stocks of their drugs and ordering a halt in further production of all products at that facility; Steris, located in Phoenix, Arizona, laid off about 350 workers. The FDA has not said that any of the drugs are bad, but that the company had not followed required procedures for documenting quality assurance. Steris had been manufacturing all the generic testosterone cypionate and enanthate sold in the U.S., even that which is sold by other companies. On October 16, 1998, a "Consent Decree of Condemnation and Permanent Injunction" between the FDA and Steris allowed the company to resume distribution of some but not all of its products. The consent decree (which is public information) includes an "Exhibit C" of drugs which the FDA has determined are medically necessary. Steris will re-test the seized stocks of these drugs, and return them to the market if possible; also, it will resume manufacturing, when permitted, for these products. However, Exhibit C does not include any form of testosterone, apparently because the FDA believed that enough other companies were marketing equivalents of the drug; the FDA has approved about three dozen testosterone preparations of about a dozen different companies, but at this time does not know how many are currently on the market. Steris did list testosterone cypionate and enanthate 200mg/mL in Exhibit A (drugs it wants to resume manufacturing when possible). It lists a lower concentration of both testosterone cypionate and enanthate (100mg/ml) that it will discontinue.
How Do I Refill my Prescription?By Paul UrbanA recent source was posted on one of the internet lists for FtM's that stated there is a mail-order source of Delatestryl (the brand-name testosterone enanthate) available at HomeMed Pharmacy (800-586-2882; also at http://www.homemed.com/). It can be ordered in a 5 ml vial of Delatestryl (200mg/ml) for 53.38 USD, + 3.95 priority mail shipping. The transman posting the info goes on to say, "this is of course much more expensive than what I was paying for my generic Schein-Steris (which was $22.00 for 10 ml), but is better in terms of price and vailability of the brand name stuff than anything else I've seen." Upjohn stated that they are trying to distribute evenly throughout the country to wholsalers the supplies of Depo-Testosterone that they presently have, but because of back orders, they don't expect it to be in ready supply again until March. My personal experience has been that I could buy Depo-Testosterone for $30.00 in November and I was quoted $90.00 for the same 10 ml bottle in mid-January that I found at Thriftyway.com!
Food For ThoughtIf Only Life Could Be Like A Computer!To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your recovery diskette when you had a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to YOU...
I Want To Be Six AgainTo Whom It May Concern: I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old. The tax base is lower. I want to be six again. I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and stay up on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa and Rudolph on the roof. I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know, and you didn't care. I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips. I want to think the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. Sometime, while I was maturing, I learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, prejudice, starving and abused kids, lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain and mortality. I want to be six again. I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever, because I don't know the concept of death. I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something used for escape from the things I should be doing. I want to live knowing the little things that I find exciting will always make me as happy as when I first learned them. I want to be six again. I remember not seeing the world as a whole, but rather being aware of only the things that directly concerned me. I want to be naive enough to think that if I'm happy, so is everyone else. I want to walk down the beach and think only of the sand beneath my feet and the possibility of finding that blue piece of sea glass I'm looking for. I want to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike, letting the grownups worry about time, the dentist and how to find the money to fix the car. I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up and what I'll be, who I'll be and not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out. I want that time back. I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of paperwork, or two depressed friends, or a fight with my spouse, or bittersweet memories of times gone by, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back and build a snowman, without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together and what I can possibly use for the snowman's mouth. I want to be six again.
Two Engagements In One DayKaren and Bob Gross took a quick trip to Michigan and spoke to two groups in one day. Lansing was the first meeting of the day in the afternoon, and then a quick departure and a short ride to Ann Arbor for an evening presentation completed the day. The first group was the Lansing PFLAG chapter where they told the story about their family and answered questions from the membership. They had a very warm reception and continue to meet such wonderful parents, families and friends of the gay community. The second group of the day was the Ann Arbor Family Matters group. This group, just getting started already is a warm, accepting group. It offers support to the transgender community in and around the Ann Arbor area. Karen and Bob told their now familiar story and gave the group some good ideas to help them "grow" their new support group. There was some great sharing and Dr Sandra Cole of the University of Michigan GLBT office was also there to share ideas.
LGBT Directory Of ExpertiseThis was forwarded to me by someone on the Transgender Aging Network, and I think it may be of interest to a number of you, too. Loree C-D
Dear Colleague, Through this unprecedented effort, we hope to elevate the discussion of GLBT-related issues to one based on fact and informed opinion rather than myths and stereotypes. Discussions of policy issues need input from knowledgeable researchers in the social sciences, law, humanities, and biological sciences. To foster a more objective and sensible public discussion, we need to make you and your expertise accessible. Please share your knowledge with the world! The questionnaire asks about your disciplinary background and your research topics, and it takes only a few minutes to fill out. From the data on the scholars we are surveying, we will publish both a print directory and an on-line directory designed for easy reference that will include your information and your areas of expertise. (Or, if you would prefer, you may designate that your contact information, such as your email address or phone number, only be released through requests to the IGLSS office.) This project will serve several important purposes:
Please take a few minutes now to fill out the form on our website, http://www.iglss.org . We will publish the first edition this winter, so the deadline is February 5, 1999. (We will keep an updated version of the directory on our website with any entries returned later, but please don't wait!) Feel free to forward this message to colleagues. If you have questions, please call or email me at badgett@iglss.org
Lee Badgett
Yellow Butterflieschase yellow butterflies on a hot summer day watching quietly as the bright yellow mixes with lush green vivid reds pure whites. I know how it feels to be trapped like a butterfly caught in a net I want to be free like the butterfly whose bright colors contrast and compliment natures colors.
People don't look
People like the butterfly © alexmichael. 3-19-98
Equality Begins At Home OhioEQUALITY BEGINS AT HOME is a national campaign to strengthen and unite the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender communities through coordinated actions that promote equality at the state level. These actions will take place the week of March 21-27, 1999 throughout the United States. The Ohio action will be a rally at the Statehouse in Columbus on Sunday, March 21, followed later that week by a lobby day. We will rally around an issue, possibly a statewide hate crime s bill. moredetails will be available later in January. EBAH Ohio encourages individuals and communities to participate by 1) attending the rally, 2) participating in the lobby day, (there will be other ways in which to participate besides going back to Columbus), 3) encouraging local universities, organizations and religious groups to hold their own event that week celebrating EQUALITY BEGINS AT HOME.
EQUALITY BEGINS AT HOME OHIO
Columbus
It's Time Ohio!
Canton
Akron
Cincinnati
Cleveland
Dayton
Nicole's Escape
The News-Herald
"Dear Mom, Elaine Seely woke with start that October morning. Exhausted after a weekend of work at her Euclid pizza parlor, Elaine had already been awakened once, when her daughter Nicole stopped in to say she didn't feel well, that she wasn't going to school. Not an unusual situation, especially in recent days. Elaine nodded already falling back asleep. It was 7:45 am. At 9:30, Elaine was roused again, startled by something. She headed toward her daughter's room to see if Nicole was feeling better. Opening the door wasn't easy. "I pushed and I pushed and pushed until I could get in there," Elaine remembered. "I thought she was asleep because she was making heavy breathing noises and I tried to rouse her and I couldn't. I pushed the door in a little bit more and that's when I saw the blood." · Nicole was slumped against the door, blood seeping from a wound in her head. A self-inflicted gunshot wound. By 3:05 that afternoon, 15-year-old Nicole was dead. "There was no way you could have stopped this. This was something I wanted and needed for a long time. I was just sick of everything and I needed to get away. " Away from the comments. Away from the snide remarks. Away from the looks she received for being different. Since she was in third grade, Nicole had "gravitated toward masculinity" --sporting a short haircut, wearing boy's clothing, acting like a tomboy. "I think she was stuck in a girl's body," said her father, Greg. "I think she actually would have been a good candidate for a sex change." Such a life path wouldn't have been Greg and Elaine's first choice for their youngest daughter, their blossoming artist, their wannabe NASCAR driver, their award-winning bowler. They knew the trials Nicole would have to face -- but they also knew they loved their daughter. "It certainly wasn't going to be easy," her father said, "but we didn't discourage her. I took her to shop and get her hair cut the way she wanted." But her peers at Brush High School in Lyndhurst weren't quite as accepting. "She pulled the trigger of that gun because she felt it was the only way she could escape the torment inflicted on her by her classmates," said June Lund Shiplett, a friend of the family. "Every day she went to school was torture for her, and she didn't know how to stop it." Nicole stopped it the only way she could think of. On Oct. 13, the high school sophomore braced her father's .22-caliber rifle between her bedroom wall and her left temple and pulled the trigger. "Tell (Vanessa) I love her and to always think of me and if she needs someone to talk to, just turn up her music real loud and start talking because I'll be listening.· " School was indeed rough for Nicole. It wasn't always blatant -- but sometimes those whispers in the hallway cut sharper than a shouted insult. "She was very sensitive," said her sister, Vanessa. "She had a very soft heart. She would walk around with her head down a lot." Life was different for Vanessa. With long blond hair and a perky smile, Vanessa, who was .14 months older, fits in better than Nicole. Unselfconsciously she admits that she belongs to the cool crowd, to "a higher class of people." "I was friends with people not in my grade," Vanessa said. "My sister would get jealous of me." Not that she wasn't picked on. "People will pick on you no matter what," Vanessa said. "Even the cool people get picked on." But that didn't stop Vanessa from protecting her sister, whom she called "Colie," when she was harassed. Different crowd or not, Vanessa had the warrior instincts of an older sibling. When she heard people picking on her sister, "I would yell at them" she said. "I would try to make them feel so stupid." Even now, Vanessa stands up for Nicole. "So many people came up to me, saying how horrible they feel for saying things. I'm like, 'Good, you should'." she said. "l make them feel worse." But she also admits that Nicole's tormentors weren't aware of the impact of their statements. "It's something that everyone does," Vanessa said. "You really don't realize how much it hurts some people." "I'm not scared to die. I'm just scared what might happen after I die. I hope I die instantly because I hate pain." The hatred hadn't always been directed at Nicole. Although she occasionally had discussed her gender identity with counselors since she was 8 or 9, she got through grade school just fine. "I remember younger days when she seemed to be more openly happy a lot of the time," her father said. But those days were years ago. "Within maybe the last three years she started to just draw into herself," her mother said, "She decided that her outside persona was more like a boy. She presented this to the world and said, 'This is who I am.' "Because she was different they would tease her a lot. I guess some of them were really, really nasty when they teased her." The problems stated cropping up in eighth grade, while Nicole was attending Memorial Junior High school in South Euclid. The Seelys moved to South Euclid the previous year, but seventh grade wasn't as torturous perhaps because Vanessa was with her. When her older sister moved on to Brush, though, the harassment began. And it didn't end until that fateful October morning. "It wasn't just guys, it was girls, too, that were harassing her" Elaine said. "I really wish I had known to what extent she was-being harassed. I think one of the reasons why she didn't tell us was because she thought are would interfere and it would get worse." "This is for the best and if you don't know that then I don 't know what to tell you." So the dark-haired youngster simply kept her problems to herself. School officials were even unaware that she swallowed a handful of Tylenol in September, a move that sparked more counseling. "When I think of her, I think guarded," said Sue Cicero, Nicole's guidance counselor at Brush High. "Nothing ever surfaced as far as people mistreating her." "I don't think we had I all those pieces," added Principal James A. Irvin. "If we had the pieces, we would have acted on that information, I know that for a fact." Nicole knew help was available, Cicero said. Brush has teams that deal with social and emotional problems as well as counselors and social workers. "If something comes to our attention, we move on it," Irvin said. "When it's done openly and someone hears it, we deal with it." Since last school year, Brush has focused on diversity; this year, school started with a motivational speaker who spoke on accepting others. "When it comes down to it," Irvin said, "a school can't make kids behave differently. You can only make kids aware," he said, "Everyone is designed to let young people know that with their actions, there will be reactions. It's up to the community, to parents, to everyone to make kids aware what those reactions can be." Part of Nicole's reticence might have involved a simple desire to handle her problems herself "She could take situations she didn't like and make them palatable to her," Cicero said, recounting conflicts that Nicole resolved "Give my junk to Carly And tell her sorry about the Aerosmith concert and I'll still .see it, just not with her. But in her heart." But confusion about her gender identity -- and the torment it brought about-- turned into something she couldn't handle at her own. Never the less, Nicole didn't share her confusion, didn't talk about the pain that others were causing. Some of her pain may have been channeled into hard work; the meticulously drawn pictures in which she-experimented with perspective and color. But it wasn't channeled into conversation. "I wish she had said something," said Carly, Nicole's best friend. "I don't think she knew how many friends she had. All my friends were friends with Colie." In fact, many of those friends thought Nicole was doing fine. She had recently joined the junior varsity soccer team and seemed to be happier than she had been in a long time. "She fit right in with our team," said Coach Jayson Macauda "She got along with everybody." Such friendships might have been the only thing that kept Nicole from ending her life sooner. "We were thinking that since she was on a team, it was great," her father said. "She was making friends, doing things with the girls from the soccer team." "It may have kept her from doing it sooner than she did," her mother added. "Don't think of it as an ending but a new start! Just go on with your life. You'll be OK." But in Nicole's mind, a handful of friends couldn't make up for years of torment. And now those friends have to deal with the fact that Nicole is gone. "I thought my sister would always be there," Vanessa said. It's just beginning to hit her: Colie won't be there to talk to, to shop with, to plan the future with. "I don't get to buy her anything for Christmas" Vanessa said. But moving on requires finding a ray of hope wherever possible. Almost a month after Nicole died, Elaine Seely woke up again, this time stirring from a dream of Nicole. "She was just sitting there eating," Elaine said. "I told her, 'I miss you so much.' She just stood there with a big grin on her face." "I know she's happy, wherever she is." Doctors can offer help to confused teen-agers. Anger. Fear. Confusion. A combination of tormenting peers, gender-identity confusion and normal teen-age angst can release a wealth of emotions that a youngster just doesn't know how to with. "Life is hard for any teen-ager," said Dr. Sylvia Rimm, a child psychologist and director of the Family Achievement Clinic, at MetroHealth Medical Center. Adding gender identity confusion or sexual issues to the mix only makes things more stressful. "Teen-agers are so vulnerable," Rimm said. "They haven't established their own identity." And vulnerable teens often express their own·fears by harassing others. "There's a number of teen-agers having these fears," Rimm said. "It's a kind projection. The uncertainty that so many young people feel in their lives causes them to be meaner to others." People going through situations such as those involving I5-year-old Nicole Seely have to talk about it, experts said, Nicole received some counseling, but in the end, the confusion and lack of acceptance fueled her suicide. "Sexuality is very powerful during our whole life," said Rimm. "During the teen-age years it's just awakening. These young people really need support, open minded support." But it's hard, said others who've faced such crises, to know what to say. "I never talked to anybody about it because I didn't know what I would tell them," said Mitch, a 30-year-old man who began his life in a woman's body. "I was frightened. I figured I was the only girl who didn't know how it meant to feel like a girl. "People have heard of being gay," he said. "But transgender is so far from anybody's understanding. Most people don't get up in the morning and look into the mirror and question, 'Am I really a man? Am I really a woman?'" "While homosexual people may be targeted in similar ways, transgender people tend to stand out more," said Karen Gross, director of TransFamily of Cleveland. "They don't fit into gay or lesbian or straight," she said. "But not fitting in isn't a reason to take your own life," said Dr Herbert Hendin medical director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. "It was OK for Nicole to be angry," Hendi n said, but her anger should have been focused on those who were tormenting her instead of herself. "Her reaction should be that the other people are ignorant," Hendin said. She should feel a certain anger or contempt for them for being so ignorant."
SSAFESafe Schools Are For EveryoneWhat is SSAFE? The goal of the SSAFE Project is to work with schools in any way possible to create a safe and equitable learning environment for all students including gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth. A safe learning environment is one in which all students are free from verbal harassment and physical harm because of their declared or perceived differences, including sexual orientation and gender identity. An equitable learning environment provides for glbt youth access to the same support systems as all other youth, i.e. counseling, social activities, and clubs like a gay/straight alliance.
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