Special Back To School Edition

TransFamily, The Next Generation

Here's a brief recap of the TransFamily reorganization meeting that took place on August 17th at Kathy Harvey's house. Since the newsletter needs this fast, I will just give you the highlights. Be sure to come to the September meeting to get the full details.

The meeting began with a "State of Transfamily" introduction. Karen and Bob Gross shared with us how the organization came into being and how the current structure evolved. They also discussed current finances, along with the roles that they would like to play in the new structure. An impromptu vote was taken with Karen and Bob being elected Mom and Dad Forever.

One of the issues brought out is that the expenses of sending out the TransFamily newsletter by mail takes more money than is usually receive d in the collection box. Therefore, we will need to receive a subscription fee for those would like to continue to have the newsletter mailed to them. The fee will be determined at the next meeting.

It was agreed that a formal structure for TransFamily is necessary at this point. The process to have our organization registered as a Not for Profit Charitable Organization (501-(C) 3 for you tax junkies) has begun. This process will be completed with in the next few months. This will enhance our ability to impact the community and increase our effectiveness in getting the message out.

There was quite a bit of discussion about the current structure of the meeting and the location. Bob and Karen are very happy to continue hosting the monthly meeting at their home. They also understand that it may be time to look at other options. We discussed other options, such as a second meeting each month, on the west side, and weekend special interest meetings. The consensus was that questions such as this be put to the general community for your input. Please be at the September meeting, we need your ideas.

Responsibilities for various functional areas were taken over by many of the attendees at the meeting. Some of these areas are:

• Treasurer - Diane L
• Programming - Joni
• Speakers Bureau - Deb
• Community Liaison - Kathy H
• New Member Coordinator - Joanne P.
• Publicity - Dawn
• Newsletter - Christy and Gerry

The people responsible for these areas will be introduced at the September meeting, and anyone else can still volunteer to help on the present committees and the new ones we will be establishing. Please keep in mind, there is still plenty of room and need for your talents and skills.

The September monthly meeting will be the Kick-Off for the next generation of TransFamily. Please plan on attending, we need your input. The September meeting is entitled "What does TransFamily mean to you, and where do we go from here?"

Finally, Karen and Bob are not going away. They have just realized that it is time to let their baby grow up. In order to do that, they have to step back a bit and let the community grow. If we all step up and do a small part, nobody will be overwhelmed and everything will get accomplished.

Join Us!

The meeting will be on Thursday, September 2nd. at our normal location, using our normal format.

If you are inspired to cook up an entrée for this month's meeting, please indulge yourself. We are hoping to have some good late summer weather, and maybe we can have a cook-out. Bob wants to hone his bar-b-que skills, so hopefully we'll cook the burgers and hot dogs.

Items to bring:

Need directions?

Call (216) 691-HELP (4357) or
e-mail Karen at karen_gross@transfamily.org.

I have the distinct pleasure of announcing that TransFamily has entered the Internet big league. We now have a brand new web site, completely reformatted and reorganized, and our own domain name. Officially, we became www.transfamily.org on Thursday, August 12th.

I've worked very hard since receiving official notification that our domain was registered on converting the old GeoCities site over to our new location at "transfamily.org" Most of the effort was directed at reformatting the old newsletter pages into what I hope is a clearer and easier to read style.

The archived newsletters are found on a special index page that lists each newsletter and the major articles within that newsletter.

Our new site also has a bulletin board, with forums created for each of our 4 unique groups; parents, family & friends, T-Girls, and T- Boys. I will be opening yet one more forum in the coming days for our youth and teens. You can use these forums to socialize, ask questions, pass on advice, and make note of special get-togethers (make up parties, etc). The only restrictions are we insist that you not post spam, chain letters, or solicit for e-mail marketing schemes. Also, remember that our site is a FAMILY site, so we need to keep the language clean. We also ask that you keep your criticism on a constructive level.

Another great feature of our new home is that we have a chatroom. It's fast, very user friendly, and can accommodate a very large number of users at one time. Like the bulletin board, there are four separate rooms for each group of our family plus one public room.

We also have an Amazon.com bookstore. The titles on the bookstore page will bring the organization between 5 to 15% commission, which will be used to help defray costs of maintaining the web site. If you have a title you'd like to suggest for the bookstore, just drop me a line.

Right now, I'm in the process of cleaning up and organizing our link library. When the new format is brought online, each separate category of links will have their own page. I'm also getting our new location registered with the major search engines and will shortly be contacting sites like ours in other cities to link back to us.

My primary goal for the site is to make it very easy to use, especially for Internet novices, as well as one that is very quick to load. As a web professional, nothing is more frustrating to me than having to wait, and wait, and wait while graphic intensive pages are downloaded. If you have a 56K modem, the site will fly through your modem like lightning. If you're using an older 28K or 33K, the load time is about 3 seconds for most pages.

I hope that you'll enjoy our new site, www.transfamily.org and find it a valuable resource.

Transgender Activists Confront HRC in Columbus

[QUILL, Columbus, OH, Aug. 9, 1999] Donna Red Wing, HRC's National Field Director, is accustomed to handling difficult questions from angry transgender activists. Says Red Wing, "That's my job." However, she was probably surprised by the reception she received in Columbus, during her "Power Tour" of the major cities of Ohio, both from transgender activists and from GLB people alike.

The Town Meeting in Columbus started with a stern warning from moderator Linda Malicki, Executive Director of Cleveland's LGBT Community Center, that audience members would have to be respectful and allow panelists to answer questions fully, without interruption. She further warned that belligerent or offensive people would be removed. Then three of the panelists addressed the audience briefly.

Jeff Redfield, Executive Director of Stonewall Columbus, discussed local issues such as the recent burning of the Rainbow Flag, as well as School Board and City Council issues. Red Wing spoke next, discussing the planned Millennium March in Washington, DC, November 2000, continuing to discuss general issues facing the American GLBT population. Anticipating a heavy transgender turnout in Columbus, Red Wing was also quick to discuss how transgendered people have been crippled by employment discrimination and how they have also been heavily victimized in hate crimes, averaging about one brutal murder per month. She added that hate crimes against the transgendered are only rarely publicized, in contrast to those against the rest of the GLBT community. The panel presentations were concluded by Carlie Steen of New York's Promote the Vote, who discussed tactics for organizing and mobilizing GLBT voters in our country.

After the panelists concluded their presentations, they addressed questions from the audience, joined by Charlotte Young, HRC's North/Northeast Field Organizer. After two questions from the audience about building bridges between the GLBT and straight communities, Cathy Platine, Director of the Midwest Transsexual Alliance, addressed Red Wing. Platine stressed that employment discrimination is the single most crippling issue to the transgender community. She discussed how transgender activists have been lobbying hard in Washington for employment protections for the last five years but how their efforts have been defeated by HRC and its "lackeys," Riki Anne Wilchons and Dana Priesing of GenderPAC, who have actively lobbied Congress to keep transgender protections out of the Federal Employment Non- Discrimination Act (ENDA). Finally, she described an exchange between lesbian activist Alicia Abando and HRC Executive Director Elizabeth Birch at the 1999 Chicago Gala. Abando asked Birch when HRC would support transgender inclusion in ENDA, and Birch replied, "That's never gonna happen." Pointing her finger at Red Wing, Platine demanded, "When will HRC stop undermining our lobbying efforts?" The mostly GLB audience erupted into applause.

Red Wing denied Platine's allegations. She said that she had personally asked each of HRC's lobbyists whether they had lobbied against transgender interests, and they had all denied doing so. She also stated that Elizabeth Birch is on record as saying she would support transgender inclusion in ENDA, in apparent contrast with her statement the previous week in Chicago. Red Wing concluded by admitting that HRC is "not where it should be on transgender inclusion" and by apologizing. Said Red Wing, "We're trying, but not hard enough yet. I'm sorry!"

Platine followed up by reminding Red Wing of the transgender lobby's inability after five years of lobbying to identify more than two lawmakers in all of Congress whose support of ENDA would be affected by transgender inclusion in the bill. She contrasted that with the cost of failing to include the gender-expression language that would provide the needed protections under ENDA for transgendered people. Referring to a new study by transsexual activist Dr. Sarah Fox of the TBLG education and advocacy group It's Time, Ohio!, Platine indicated that 76% of GLB (and not transgender) people who report employment discrimination cite their gender expression as a basis for discrimination. Those people, indicated Platine, would continue to suffer employment discrimination, irrespective of whether ENDA protected them on their sexual orientation alone. The audience again erupted into applause. Red Wing did not respond to these points.

Platine had touched on some very troubling points for HRC. While HRC's and GenderPAC's clandestine anti-transgender lobbying efforts have long been rumored among transgender activists, a considerable body of evidence has now surfaced. This campaign started with the very inception of ENDA. When the bill was first authored by openly gay Rep. Barney Frank (D, Massachusetts), it included full transgender-protective language; however, HRC lobbyists goaded Frank into removing transgender protections prior to his introduction of the bill. Throughout the 5-year working relationship between HRC and Frank, Frank has become progressively more hostile to the transgendered, ultimately belittling their serious employment issues by calling them "people with penises who identify as women (wanting to) shower with other women." Once a friend of the transgender community, Frank is now one of the only two lawmakers in Washington who is known specifically to oppose transgender inclusion in the bill.

HRC's anti transgender lobbying has likely reached every legislative office on Capitol Hill. According to numerous Federal legislators and their staffers, HRC lobbyists have stormed Capitol Hill with Riki Anne Wilchons (GenderPAC's Executive Director) and Dana Priesing (GenderPAC's Washington Liaison), immediately prior to each of the annual GenderPAC Lobby Days events, the US transgender community's principal lobbying effort. During their visits to legislative offices, they urge lawmakers not to support any amendment to ENDA that would grant employment rights to transgendered people. Sources now include Steven Weaver (former staffer for Rep. Deb Pryce, R, Ohio), Sen. Tom Harkin (D, Iowa), and Rep. Ernie Fletcher (D, Kentucky).

After Platine's question one gay audience member praised the HRC's policy of seeking protections first for a subset of the GLBT community and then seeking to expand those protections later. Although the HRC has energetically promoted this philosophy, there were no approving voices for the man's comment among the other audience members. Having erupted into frequent applause many times that night, the audience was now conspicuously silent. Sarah Fox, Chair of the 1999 EBaH-Ohio Lobby Committee later explained to Red Wing off-stage, "We don't buy into that line here in Ohio. That's not the way we do things. I remember when we were working with one lawmaker on the language of her bill. She wanted to exclude protections for transpeople and wanted to know if she still had our support. I addressed the question to my committee, abstaining from commentary because of my obvious conflict of interest. My committee spoke unanimously that if the bill doesn't include transpeople, we didn't want it! Judy Byrd of Stonewall Akron told the lawmaker, 'Don't throw us bones with no meat!' The lawmaker agreed to write transgender protections back into the bill. It was the single proudest day of my activist career!"

Next to address Red Wing was transsexual activist Dawn Wilson of the Kentucky Fairness Alliance. Twice rousing the audience to applause, Wilson said, "I bring you greetings from Kentucky Fairness Alliance, with whom we recently fought the KKK. We fought for rights for 15 years, and passed Fairness in Louisville and Lexington in 1999. What we've learned in Kentucky is that you cannot leave anyone out. You must include all minorities and TG people. Bullets don't care what color you are or who you sleep with. So, where do you stand personally on transgender inclusion, Ms. Redwing?"

Red Wing responded that one of her personal friends, transsexual activist Lori Buckwalter of It's Time, Oregon! taught her how to be an ally of TG people, and expressed that to her, transgendered people are the most courageous people on Earth. She said that she, personally, would like to see HRC be transgender inclusive.

Transgender activists were not the only people asking difficult questions of HRC. One man talked about the high cost of HRC fundraising dinners and complained that only a small fraction of the funds collected in Ohio are ultimately spent in Ohio, a comment that drew considerable applause. Other questions concerned the Winchell murder in Kentucky and the difficulty in motivating GLBT people to work locally.

After the meeting ended, transgender activists, including Platine, Wilson, Fox, Anne Casebeer (TransFAIR Kentucky), and Monica Roberts (Texas Gender Advocacy and Information Network -- TGAIN), converged on Red Wing for an off-stage discussion. The activists all recounted their personal stories of how they had learned of HRC's sabotage efforts during their lobbying trips to Washington. Red Wing took careful notes, vowing to investigate the matter. Platine also mentioned concerns that GenderPAC Executive Director Riki Anne Wilchons had been bribed by HRC to betray the transgender community, ultimately being able to build a condo in Miami on her very meager income. Red Wing expressed that she would be surprised if that were the case.

The evening ended with a sign of peace, as Red Wing and Fox hugged. Said Fox, "Personally, I like Donna. She's a very charming woman. We of course don't see eye to eye politically, but I'd like to think we can still be friends -- cordial adversaries, as it were." Fox continued, "I think Donna took home a lot of good information from this Town Meeting. I think she learned something about GLBT unity in Ohio. In some parts of the country, it's every group for itself. Here in Ohio, we're all in this struggle together!"

September

September 2 TransFamily of Cleveland, 6:30pm, call 216-691-HELP (4357) or e-mail to karen_gross@transfamily.org for directions.

September 5 Dancin in the Streets Akron, second annual event, $5 benefits Violet's Cupboard, DJ Dan of Babylon and DJ Doug of the Interbelt, 1pm to 11pm on Canal St. behind Interbelt night club (70 N Howard St) in Akron; Jeff 330-253-5700 or Jackie 330-375-2159.

September 10-12 Ohio Leather Fest 99 workshops and demonstrations, parties, vendors. For more info call 440-835-6946.

September 11 Ohio Lesbian Festival 11th annual event features over 60 booths, workshops, food at Frontier Ranch near Kirkersville, off I-70 20 miles east of Columbus; 11 am to 11pm $24 advance, $30 at gate, send check with SASE to LBA Festival, box 82086 Columbus Ohio 43202 or email jhbirkoff@juno.com.

September 12 NOCI We are Family Picnic 21st annual benefit for Northern Ohio Coalition's funding of gay and AIDS programs, 10am to 6pm, Wildwood Lake, 11200 East River Rd. just south of Sprague Rd in Columbia Station. For more info call 216-781-6624.

September 18 The Women's Coffeehouse Series continues. 7pm at Pilgrim Church 2592 W. 14th St. $5 donation, women only space and alcohol free. For more information or to volunteer call The Center at 216-522-1999.

September 19 Cleveland AIDS Walk! 5-kilometer route begins and ends at Edgewater Park, 9 am registration, 11am step-off. For more info on how to get involved call The Center 216-522-1999 or email: thecenter@earthlink.net

September 19 The Shared Heart Photo/text exhibit featuring exquisite portraits of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender young people. Opening reception will take place at Lake Effect restaurant 4202 Detroit Ave. Come out to meet the photographer Adam Mastoon, see the powerful photos, and meet other students from gay/straight alliances. Free and open to the public. For more info call The Center at 215-522-1999.

September 20 Hillcrest/NE Ohio PFLAG, 7pm at the Noble Road Presbyterian Church, 2728 Noble Rd., Cleveland Heights, call 216-691-HELP (4357) or e-mail to Kateygr@aol.com

September 24 Gay Night at Kings Island to benefit the Lesbian/Gay Community Center of Cincinnati. Rides, live performers, food, 5pm open and 11pm fireworks. You can purchase tickets at The Lesbian/Gay Community Center of Cleveland.

October

October 7 TransFamily of Cleveland, 6:30pm, call 216-691-HELP (4357) or e-mail to karen_gross@transfamily.org for directions.

October 8th-10th Out in Akron presents Harvey Fierstein and Chastity Bono. Order your tickets to see Harvey Fierstein in Concert, Now! For tickets 1-800-494-TIXS for $20. The weekend events will take place at the Highland Theater in Akron's Highland Square. For more info go to Out In Akron's home page at www.rainbow-akron.com/oia.

October 11 National Coming Out Day!

October 16 Cleveland Couples Together annual hayride

October 18 Hillcrest/NE Ohio PFLAG, 7pm at the Noble Road Presbyterian Church, 2728 Noble Rd., Cleveland Heights, call 216-691-HELP (4357) or e-mail to Kateygr@aol.com

I have been asked by many of you to relate my experiences during my recent Gender Reassignment Surgery and subsequent recovery. As I write this, the newsletter deadline is rapidly approaching, so please forgive me if I just dash off a few thoughts. For those who want to talk further, see me at one of the meetings.

I chose TSMC, headed by Dr. Sheila Kirk, to perform my GRS (MTF). I've been asked many times why I chose them in spite of the lower cost available at some other centers. I can only say that, in addition to TSMC being fairly close, that I have felt led to make that decision.

When I went for my initial consultation, I had a reasonably long talk with Dr. Futrell, a member of the TSMC team. I was very impressed with him and with the answers he gave to my questions, so I decided to follow my inner voice and chose TSMC.

As many of you know, the surgeon's technical skill can benefit from a patient with a good attitude. I approached this surgery without the least bit of apprehension. This, I feel, was due to the comfort I felt with the selection of TSMC, the utterly complete mental and social transition I had already made and that still small voice inside. I have a strong faith that has always helped me through tough times and comforted me.

I really enjoyed the interaction with the hospital staff prior to my surgery. They were pleasant, considerate and downright fun at times, which is amazing because it was before 7 AM. Best of all, they didn't make me take off my nail polish! All of this just amplified my sense of ease prior to surgery. Then, the lights went out!

Five hours later I was awake. I was in a private room with all of the obligatory tubes attached to my body. The first day was a bit of a blur. I napped quite a lot. Each day I got stronger and felt more like myself. I read, napped and visited with two other TransFamily members who had surgery the same week (Mina & Chris).

I was surprised that the post-operative pain wasn't as bad as I had imagined. I think I only asked for pain medication 3 times. The hospital staff was very competent, friendly and respectful. Either Dr. Kirk or Futrell stopped by every day to check on my progress. I healed very well and before I knew it, I was being discharged

I'm going to stop here, because here starts recovery, which is still going on. I won't talk about results, because it's too soon for an aesthetic evaluation or a functional one. However, it looks promising and the dreaded male organs are nowhere to be seen.

Ah yes, the reason for the title of this article, "Attitude Is Everything." I think that a positive attitude and reasonable expectations carried me through with relative ease and with very manageable discomfort. So, if you're headed for surgery, be ready for it, know what to expect, pick a center you trust and approach it with confidence.

Christy recently wrote a very open and I am sure difficult piece telling of her feelings and difficulties in coming out. I am the best friend mentioned in the article.

When Roger told me his history and his desire to be seen as a woman, I was not very understanding. I was totally caught off-guard, and had a lot of conflicting feelings that were not easy to resolve.

As a gay man, (and one who has led a less than exemplary life), I also carried a lot of guilt over the fact that I was not as accepting as I should have been. It was not until I attended the TransFamily meeting that I was able to resolve the issues surrounding Roger becoming Christy.

What we both perceived as a lack of understanding was really grief and confusion on my part. This was a person who had been the major part of my life for more than 25 years, and there was a great deal of fear and resentment that I might be losing that relationship. HOW WRONG I WAS!

Not only did I not lose my friend, Christy and I are actually closer than Roger and I had been. She is free to be herself, and I am free to get closer in that sister to sister way that brothers can't. We had both been restrained by our male boundaries, (gay men don't hug straight men, they might misunderstand. etc.), Christy's courage in coming out has actually freed both of us.

There was never any doubt that Roger and I would remain friends no matter what he may be going through, but TransFamily helped me welcome Christy into my life and for that I am grateful. I hope that Christy understands that the reserve I initially showed in accepting her was more about my issues in losing Roger and my ignorance in understanding that they are indeed one and the same.

Christy is the one constant in my life, I treasure her friendship, I love her like a sister, and while sometimes my genders get a little confused (hey, I'm gay, I was all ready confused!) I'm in for the long haul. In the grand scheme of what both of us have lived through in our lives together, this ain t such a big deal.

I wanted to share, because sometimes a lack of understanding isn't always what it seems to be. Sometimes the other person is just confused and needs someone to point out the obvious to be accepting. Thanks TransFamily for helping me keep my best friend.

I have been collecting through donations and cleaning and some folks I know who are moving. I have quite a lot of clothing, baking pans and muffin pans,etc and clothing which I would like to get to those who can use it. It would be a great idea to have a clothing exchange!! Anyone interested?

Contact Kateygr@aol.com to let me know. In the meantime, I have also collected a lot of serving pieces that have been left behind and need to find their old homes or new homes:o) So please start collecting your unwanted clothing and bring it to the next meeting. Many others can use what you have no further use for.

WHO: You, we hope! And other folks from around Ohio who want to help bring about equal rights for transpeople in Ohio.

WHAT: The September meeting of It's Time, Ohio!

WHERE: The Arirong Garden restaurant, on the northeast corner of Mayfield and Richmond, right across the street from the Thai Orchid and the Shoe Warehouse.

WHEN: Thursday, September 16, at 7:30 PM.

WHY: Because we like you! M-O-U-S-E. And to help make Ohio safe for gender-variant people like us.

Hey folks, we need some input. This family newsletter is for the whole group. Please share! Turn in articles and ideas as soon as possible so that they may be included in the next newsletter. Also, don’t forget to inform us of the date, time and place of upcoming events.

If you have any ideas, articles, poems, etc. for the next newsletter, please get them to Karen or Christy at the next meeting, or calling (216) 691-HELP (4357) or e-mail Karen at karen_gross@transfamily.org or Christy at christy_scott@transfamily.org

TransFamily is still compiling a collection of gender-friendly services and resources for our membership. This guide will include medical, legal, and psychological resources that have been endorsed by our members, families, and friends. In addition, we want to post other businesses and resources we have dealt with on day-to-day matters, such as stores, restaurants, garages, etc.

The guide will serve as the first practical guide for gay, lesbian, bisexual and `transgender individuals seeking community assistance in this area. It is further envisioned that these businesses will advertise in our newsletter and/or possibly provide us with group support in the communities, in which we live and work.

Before any individual or business can be listed a consent form must be obtained and recorded in our files. The forms will be made available at the September TransFamily Meeting. Please see Debra London.

Hi Karen,

I spoke to you this afternoon about getting in touch with people who have transgendered parents. I'm a senior at Oberlin College majoring in sociology and political science. My father and I are both gay. I've been interviewing people for about a year and a half because I wanted to make the kids of queer parents a lot more visible. I have a background in interviewing techniques as a sociology major. I'm interested in talking to people who are 18 years and older about their experiences and their opinions on things ranging from politics to religion. In a few years, I will compile these interviews into a book. I should be in Cleveland for about one and a half more weeks, then I head off to Oberlin. My number at home is (216) 229-8351; email is jessica.powers@oberlin.edu (that account forwards my mail to this account, so it doesn't matter to which account you reply). If there are some folks interested in talking to me, but they can't set up an interview with me while I'm in Cleveland, I would still like to hear from them. It might be possible for me to talk to them at a later time.

Jessica Powers

Dr. Sheila Kirk will be speaking to the group sometime in September or October. Dr. Kirk will be discussing and showing slides of the F2M surgery procedures. Any one interested will be welcome. A notice will be sent when the date has been confirmed.

Just a reminder that we are still collecting "Before and After" pictures for the collage that Karen is creating. This collage will be used at speaking engagements to "put a face" on the issues of transgenderism. If you would like to contribute your face(s), please give the pictures to Karen.

Our library is still missing many books and videos. If you have borrowed something from the library and did not sign it out, please return them so that we can keep track of our library items and make them available to others. (This includes items that were borrowed before the sign out policy was implemented.) Books and copies of videos are expensive. We want to keep our library stocked and available, so please help by making sure that you sign out and return all items. Thanks.

SSAFE Coalition has voted to accept TransFamily as one of the collaborative groups. Our name will now appear on all SSAFE brochures along with GLSEN, PFLAG, and Gay Lesbian Center. We need many of you to volunteer to help with their projects. Please call the center (216-522-1999) and Judy Maruszan, identify yourself as a member of TransFamily, and ask what you can do to help. Their biggest project is the annual fund raiser, which is held in either March or April (at the Cleveland International Film Festival). Let's have many of our members available to help with the project. In the fall, there will be a need for many of our members to speak at area schools. Please let the center know if you will be available.

The SSAFE presentation format typically involves volunteers in roles as a panel speaker and/or a more formal presenter of specific workshop topics. Future SSAFE training will feature two different trainings for these two types of roles.

Our panels are the most highly-rated aspect of SSAFE workshops. Panel speakers share a personal story about a school experience or other topic related to the effects of homophobia. In addition, panel speakers answer questions from the audience. The training focuses on how to tell those stories effectively and how to handle audience questions, especially when they may be difficult or even hostile. We also will be learning to connect with the audience and how to build visual images. This training will be on October 30th, from 9 am to 4:30 pm at the Red Cross, 3747 Euclid Ave., Cleveland.

The presenter role is being expanded to have more responsibility. The presenter will be able to lead a complete workshop, present various workshop topics, and facilitate panel presentations and audience questions. Presenters should first take the Panel Speaker training. If someone has professional or extensive presentation experience, the panel training may be waived. This workshop will be on November 6th, from 9 am to 4:30 pm at the Red Cross, 3747 Euclid Ave., Cleveland.

SSAFE participated in the Positive Strategies for Safe Schools program on Tuesday, August 17, at CCC East Campus. This was a showcase of Cleveland area programs and services for creating safe schools. We did three 35 minute presentations and had a resource table.

SSAFE and Spectrum, North Olmsted's Gay Straight Alliance (GSA,) are hosting a GSA youth workshop on Sunday, August 22, from 1:00-5:00 pm, at the Westshore Unitarian Church (20401 Hilliard in Rocky River). All high school youth are invited to come and meet students from other schools in a fun afternoon of activities on starting a GSA and sharing ideas and problems. GSAs educate the school community to create a more understanding and accepting environment for all regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Youth group advisers are invited as well.

Please help us get the word out. Attendees should RSVP to Judy or Jen at The Center.

The Aids Walk is Sunday, September 19. This year it is shorter, only 5k (3.1 miles), and starts earlier, at 11:00 am. Pledge forms are available now. Why not get an early jump on signing those pledges! Let's have a great turnout for TransFamily. We'll have pledge forms and details at the September meeting.

The Shaker Hts GSA is bringing The Shared Heart photo/text display to Cleveland in the last 2 weeks of September. This is a wonderful set of photos of glbt youth that are also found in the book of the same name. SSAFE, GLSEN, TransFamily, NCCJ (Natl Conference for Community & Justice) and PFLAG are co-sponsoring. A reception kickoff will be held on September 19 from 1:00-4:00 pm at Lake Effect Restaurant. (Come over right after the AIDS Walk) Adam Mastoon, the exhibit photographer, will be there, too.

The PRYSM Poster Project is underway to increase access to support opportunities for GLBTQ youth throughout the county. The poster is titled “Value Yourself and the World Will Follow” and has a small box with info cards for students to take. We need help distributing posters to businesses and organizations through northeast Ohio. Please call Jen Kruger at The Center.

The Center is planning to start a new support group for adolescents with GLBT parents beginning in the Fall. If anyone is interested call Judy or Jen at The Center. We will determine the age range of the group depending on the interest of those who call.

The Great Lakes Region and the Dayton, Ohio Chapter of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays is presenting their Education For The New Millennium Conference on October 1st through the 3rd, 1999 at the Doubletree Hotel in Dayton, Ohio.

There will be workshops and panels on topics as:

• Building More Effective Support Groups
• Building Diverse Coalitions
• Safe Schools
• Youth Groups
• Hate Crimes
• Legislative Update
• Religious Issues

Early Bird Registration, before September 1st, is $50 per person. After September 1st, Registration is $75 per person. These fees do not include lodging.

For more information, please call Micki Adams or Donna Avnaim at 937-767-9393 or adamsmicki@aol.com.

As mentioned above, the registration fees do not include lodging. Reservations can be made at the Doubletree Hotel by calling 937-461-4700. Mention the "PFLAG Regional" to get a special room rate of $79.00

As PFLAG is now trans inclusive, let's have show of support from our TransFamily group at this conference.

The 9th Annual Southern Comfort Conference is being held in Atlanta, GA between September 21st and September 26th, 1999. The Southeast Regional Conference has some great events planned, including dinner at the Top Of The World in the Sundial Restaurant on top of the Westin Peachtree Hotel, a trip to an Agatha Christie Murder Mystery dinner theater, and an excursion to the Hark Rock Cafe and Planet Hollywood. Speakers will include Dallas Denny and GenderPac's Riki Ann Wilchons.

For more information, you can visit the Southeast Regional Conference's website at www.sccatl.org, send an email to info@sccatl.org. or call (404) 630-6470. Note that hotel reservations must be made separately. Accommodations are at the Sheraton Buckhead and the Four Points Sheraton in Atlanta. You can call 1-800-241-8260 for reservations.

Fantasia Fair will be held in Provincetown, MA from October 17th through the 24th, 1999. Professional and personal development workshops are scheduled to include community, spiritual,medical & psychological, relationships- couples & family, sexuality, sensuality & intimacy, and programs designed especially for significant others.

Invited presenters include Alison Laing, photographer Mariette Pathy Allen, Richard Doctor, Neila Miller, Michael Gilbert, Marilyn Volker, and Sandra Cole.

For more information about the pricing options and expanded activities, please visit the Fantasia Fair website at www.fantasiafair.org

To register for Fantasia Fair or to make travel arrangements, please contact Provincetown Reservations Systems at their website www/ptownres.com or call 800-648-0364. You can also write to:

Maggie's 10th annual Fall Harvest will be held in Milwaukee on November 11th through the 13th at the Radisson Hotel Mayfair. Invited presenters include Sandra Cole, Randi Ettner, and Dr. Shelia Kirk

For more information you can email fallharvest99@usa.net, check the web site at www.netwurx.net/~fallharv99 or call 414-297-9328.

The 14th Annual The International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE) National Convention is scheduled for March 22nd through the 26th, 2000 at the Hilton Crystal City in Arlington, Virginia. To make sure you get details about this event when they become available, write to:

Or, you can drop an email to Skristinej@aol.com

The World Congress of Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Jewish Organizations and New Jersey's Lesbian and Gay Havurah proudly announce that they will co-host HORIZONS 2000, the 16th World Conference of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Jews. The conference will take place from Thursday, July 27 through Sunday, July 30, 2000, at the Woodcliff Lake Hilton, Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey.

New Jersey's Lesbian and Gay Havurah has been home to the area's Jewish/Gay community for nearly a decade. The Havurah is honored to have been chosen to host this international conference for The World Congress in their 20th anniversary year. It is anticipated that 300 attendees from as far away as Israel, South America and Eastern Europe will participate in this conference in northern New Jersey.

The conference will feature seminars, entertainment, religious services, speakers and schmoozing. For more information, call 1-732-650-1010, write to HORIZONS 2000, P. O. Box 2576, Edison, NJ 08818-2576, send email to conf@njhav.org, or visit us on the web at www.njhav.org

This bill is of interest to It's Time Ohio because it is related to the Amy Salerno bill (not yet introduced :-( ) that would add sexual orientation to Ohio's protected classes.

HB 296 wouldn't change the classes protected, but it would make an EMPLOYEE also personally unable to legally discriminate, not just an EMPLOYER. In other words, rather than sue the company, an unjustly fired person could sue both the company (employer) and the individual who did the firing (employee.)

The bill is of interest to us because (1) it shows the wording of the current law, and (2) it may represent an opportunity to attach amendments that might protect us, (3) it gives some idea of the process for such bills.

HB 296 was introduced April 13. It has been assigned to the Civil and Commercial Law Committee, chaired by Amy Salerno. In 4 months, the bill has not had the first of its required 3 hearings. Ray Miller is a democrat representing parts of eastern Columbus (but I'm not quite in his district.)

NOW, which has been a good friend to us, would like to see this bill pass. I think we should support NOW on this as part of our overall lobbying efforts.

Feeling inspired by Shirley's article in the October of 1998 newsletter recounting her trip to Toronto and Niagara Falls, I thought I'd write down what I experienced on my recent trip.

With the kids away, the adults will play. Miriam and I hit the road early Friday morning, after the August TransFamily meeting, bound for the Great White North. This would be our first vacation together, alone, in five years! Although I was no novice to Niagara Falls, it had been nearly 30 years since I'd last seen them. And, this would be my first ever visit to Toronto.

Miriam has been to Toronto many, many times and just loves the city. Based on her enthusiasm, and some great recommendations that Deb London gave us (she had been up there the previous weekend) during the August meeting, I was all primed for a wonderful experience. We were also hopeful to bump into Karen, Bob, Mitch, and Charlie who were going up to Toronto the same weekend with tickets to see "Phantom."

The drive was really very nice, except for getting caught in a mammoth traffic jam on I-90, near Geneva. A road crew, putting down some asphalt patches, had one lane closed and had traffic backed up for miles. Unfortunately, we also picked the wrong lane going through Canadian customs at the Peace Bridge. A very detailed oriented Customs Official was taking her time with every car and really backing traffic up.

Once through Customs, and with Miriam behind the wheel on the QEW, it was smooth sailing again. As we neared St. Catherine's and the QEW edged closer to the lake shore, I was amazed at how beautiful it was there. To the right, the lake was an awesome shade of blue. On the left, a majestic and towering range of hills.

We hit the outskirts of suburban Toronto just in time for Friday rush hour! Surprisingly, although the traffic was very heavy, we were still able to cruise along at a brisk 100 kph pace. As the Toronto skyline got closer, I felt like a little kid seeing an exotic location the first time; a combination of excitement and anxiety.

Miriam superbly navigated our van through the crowded Toronto streets, easily finding our hotel which was just a few paces away from historic Maple Leaf Gardens. Meanwhile, my jaw was slack from looking at the hordes of people who seemed to jam every sidewalk from the harbor to downtown. I don't know what I was thinking before I saw Toronto, but I wasn't expecting a city THIS big! To someone who hates places like New York City, this was pretty intimidating.

After parking the van in a nearby lot and checking into the hotel, we arrived in our disappointingly small room. It just wasn't what we expected from a high rise name brand chain hotel. We freshened up and went to the lobby restaurant for dinner, which turned out to be lovely. Then, we set out on a walking journey north on Yonge St.

This was about 8 o'clock at night, and the sidewalks were absolutely jammed with people. It was almost claustrophobic, but the farther we walked, the more comfortable I began to feel. I was enchanted with Yonge Street's eclectic range of shops, boutiques, and restaurants. Even better, we passed several TG's on our journey. These girls were unnoticed by the crowds, and even if they had been, it seemed that no one cared they were TG! How positively refreshing!!

Our Saturday began bright and early with a tour of the city courtesy of Old Town Tours. We hopped off at several stops, finding many locations that were used in movies and in our favorite television series "Forever Knight." We spent quite a bit of time exploring Yorkville, eventually taking a taxi over to Wildside.

What an incredibly wonder place Wildside is! And the staff is so friendly! Terri spent quite a bit of time helping me select some new cosmetics, and directing us to a TG friendly salon where I could have my hair done. if you go to Toronto, I highly recommend placing Wildside into your schedule.

We walked back to our hotel, grabbed a quick dinner, and set off for the Yonge Street salon that Patty had recommended, "House Of Lords." Miriam was sweet enough to speak to the staff about what I wanted, and I was placed into the care of a wonderfully talented girl named Alex. She spent a long time carefully trimming and evening up the mess my hair had become over the course of a year, and then spent an even greater amount of time blow-drying and styling it. I thought her arms were going to fall off! When Alex finished, I felt so wonderful! It was a delicious experience. I felt beautiful as Miriam and I walked back to the hotel.

Sunday morning, we rose early and set off for our next stop, Niagara-On-The-Lake. We left the QEW at St. Catherine's, and followed Lake Shore Drive, over the Welland Canal, into the wonderfully quaint and picturesque village of Niagara-On-The Lake. We took a relaxing walking tour of historic Fort George, and took some pictures down by the shore of the river looking across to Fort Niagara on the American side.

Leaving the village behind, we took a leisurely drive down the Niagara Parkway, stopping at every scenic view on the way to play tourist. When we finally arrived at the Falls, I was stuck by the color and the detail I could see in the water cascading over the side; even from a great distance away! Despite the fact I'd seen the falls before, I felt as if I were seeing them for the first time.

Our hotel was the new and elegantly decorated Ramada Suites on Lundy's Lane. When we opened the door to our room, we wanted to move right in and stay put! The room was so beautiful, with a bathroom that was to-die-for! It had cut-glass doors separating it from the main room, a glassed in shower, and a heart-shaped whirlpool bathtub. I shot a roll of film of the rooms to take home for decorating ideas.

We enjoyed a quiet and intimate dinner at the hotel's Ground Round before boarding the shuttle bus for the casino. This wound up being yet another case of culture shock for me. I've never been to either Las Vegas or Atlantic City, so I was quite unprepared for the cacophony of noise and wall to wall people that made up the casino. Again, it was demonstrated to me that a TG can walk unnoticed north of the border. Darned friendly, these Canadians! And, apparently something happens to American's when they cross that border too.

It was very coincidental that, as Shirley G. Reported in her Run For The Border article from October of 1998, I began feeling fairly queasy as the evening wore on. Eventually, I had to leave Miriam at the Blackjack table and take the shuttle back to the hotel on my own. (unlike Shirley, however, I didn't suffer from aching feet because I was armed with the most comfortable pair of walking shoes I've ever owned; Keds canvas sneakers!)

Thankfully, Monday morning I felt much better. We loaded up the van and said good-bye to that lovely bathroom. Then, Miriam and I walked by the falls, saw the Imax movie, and went up in the Minolta tower for a bird's eye view. Eventually, it was time to come home. Crossing the border back into the United States was far quicker and easier than going the other way. On the way home, Miriam and I decided that we'd have to return to Toronto again very soon.

• A man will spend $2.00 for a $1.00 item that he wants. A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she doesn't want.
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
• To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
• Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
• Any married man should forget his mistakes -- there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
• Men wake up as good looking as they were when the went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
• A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, then she does.
• A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the start of a new argument.

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said.

"That's right," said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man and I wear the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

"Heck," he said, "I can't get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right, and that's the way its going to be until your attitude changes!"

TransFamily of Cleveland was founded to provide support and education for transgender persons, their families, friends and significant others. We hope to form an outreach group to promote awareness of transgender persons and their issues through PFLAG and to bring awareness to our school systems, through their principals and counselors, by offering literature, speakers, consultation and support. We would like to publish a list of helpful resource people in the Cleveland area.

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