Gobble Gobble Edition

Join Us!

The meeting will be on Thursday, November 4th. at our normal location, using our normal format. The theme of the meeting will be "Remembering Our Heritage." This is a time of year for remembering those who have gone before, and re-connecting with our roots. We'd like everyone to bring the following:

1. A story of someone in our extended community who has gone before: a relative, another transperson who has passed on, a figure from trans history, or someone who has touched your life in one way or another. There are (sadly) a great many such stories on Gwen Smith's "Remembering Our Dead" web site at http://www.gender.org/remember, and Leslie Feinberg's "Transgender Warriors" is a good source for trans history.
2. Names of people in our extended community (transpeople, family, friends, and others) who have passed on since October 31, 1998.
3. Yourself!

If you are inspired to cook up an entrée for this month's meeting, please indulge yourself. We'll be using our inside menu format.

Items to bring:

Need directions?

Call (216) 691-HELP (4357) or
e-mail Karen at karen_gross@transfamily.org.

Here are the TransFamily reorganization responsibilities for various functional areas:

• Treasurer - Diane L
• Programming - Joni
• Speakers Bureau - Deb
• Community Liaison - Kathy H
• New Member Coordinator - Joanne P.
• Publicity - Dawn
• Newsletter - Christy and Gerry

Anyone else can still volunteer to help on the present committees and the new ones we will be establishing. Please keep in mind, there is still plenty of room and need for your talents and skills.

As we go to press, the details for the Chareka Keys Memorial Vigil are still being firmed up. The information that we have will not be confirmed until Tuesday, October 26th. If there are critical changes, we will make a special email announcement. Complete details will be announced at the November TransFamily meeting.

The vigil is expected to be held at Trinity Cathedral, on East 22nd Street in Cleveland on November 5th, 1999. The vigil will begin at 6:30 pm and end at 9:00 pm. Among the scheduled speakers will be Karen Gross of TransFamily and Susan Davis of It's Time Ohio.

October 8, 1999, Cleveland--The body of a murdered transgender woman was found at an abandoned factory the morning of Monday, September 27th. The victim was 19-year-old Chareka Keys, a transgender woman who divided her time between homes in Cleveland and Detroit. Police found Keys’ body at 10:30 am on the loading dock of the abandoned factory building at 2271 E. 69th St. after receiving an anonymous call.

Lt. Edward Thiery, public relations officer for the Cleveland police department, said that the cause of death was a blunt trauma to the head, and police have ruled the death a homicide. Investigators have no suspects at this time.

Friends said they found it hard to imagine why someone would want to hurt Keys. "She was a really sweet person. She was a peacemaker," said Je’Neen "Scooter" Williams, one of Keys’ friends. "She was never a fighter, and she was not the type of person to get into arguments."

"It’s so sad," said Kristen Mullins, another friend. "Did she pick someone up, did she run into the wrong person?"

Williams said she knew sometimes transgender people are attacked by pick-up dates who become enraged when they discover they are with a transgendered person. However, Williams dismissed the possibility that could have happened to Keys. "Chareka didn’t like straight guys," Williams said. "She was never the type to mislead a guy. She always kept it up front."

Investigators said they are open to any information that may help them determined what happened to Keys. Police urged anyone who may have information to call the Cleveland Police homicide department at 216-623-5464.

To The TransFamily Editors

As a response to your request for info on Miss Keys, I've talked to Scooter, the roommate of Christine Mullins, a trans family member who knew Chareka. She had only a sketchy knowledge of what had happened.

She was told that Chareka was shot, not bludgeoned in the face and neck; told by someone other than the police. In either event, the striking or shooting of a transwoman in the face smacks of a hate crime... Even if the intent were not to kill but to disfigure Miss Keys. It is therefore imperative that this is brought to the attention of the public as a hate crime and it may be important that the low key attitude of the Cleveland police department be portrayed as a cover up of the nature of this as a hate crime.

This would mean that certain people in the police force do not want transsexuals to be afforded the rights of hate crime protection! It is not my intention to out Miss Keys as transwoman, but it would well serve the purpose of making all of the community safer, and it would be a tribute to Miss Keys to say that this is done in her memory. For, it was her courage to be who she was that should inspire all of us to do what we must do, to fight for the rights she deserved as do all intersexed individuals. It is her courage to be out and open in pubic that should inspire all of us to say that it is not right to take a back-seat and allow ourselves to be treated as second class citizens, whether it is by the police, the media, the churches, or people on the street.

I'm hoping that this will be made public as a hate murder, and that hate crime protection will be enacted.

Diane

As Congress struck down broadly-supported hate crime legislation tonight, families nationwide vowed to continue working "diligently and persistently to see that the people's will is done and that this bill eventually becomes law." One of the nation's largest family-based, grassroots groups announced plans to press forward educating lawmakers, the public and even members of right-wing groups that helped defeat the measure.

"Tonight, as we deal with yet another disappointing and ill-informed Congressional move, we are putting well-heeled fringe groups on notice: You no longer have a free pass to shroud your political views in the guise of 'family,'" said Kirsten Kingdon, National Executive Director of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). "In the days and weeks ahead, we will educate your membership. You have failed them by opposing this bill, which would have extended fairness and safety to religious groups, people of color and gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people."

The Hate Crimes Prevention Act (HCPA) would have expanded federal law to include hate crimes based on sexual orientation, disability and gender. It also would have strengthened efforts to address crimes based on race, religion and national origin. The U.S. Senate passed HCPA earlier this year as an amendment to an appropriations bill. Since the House did not act on the legislation, it was negotiated in Conference Committee. None of the Committee's members - including the bill's original cosponsors -- took responsibility to raise the issue in this afternoon's hearing.

"We're particularly disturbed by the absence of leadership in the Conference Committee," Kingdon said. "Again we've seen right-wing groups distort the truth - and again we've seen Congress listen to the Family Research Council instead of actual families. Thousands of fair-minded families in literally every Congressional District in America called, wrote and directly lobbied for this legislation for months - consistently telling Congress that current law is woefully inadequate in protecting our loved ones."

Focus on the Family (www.fotf.org), the Family Research Council ( www.frc.org ) and other groups lobbied heavily against HCPA. "The membership of these groups consists of people who are clearly at risk of being targeted for hate crimes, simply because of their religious beliefs," Kingdon said. "Those members deserve better, and we're reaching past the well-paid, politically-motivated leaders of right-wing groups to invite their members into a broader movement for social justice and equality for all."

Today, the FBI released 1998 statistics showing that race, religion and sexual orientation are the top three factors in bias-motivated crime. Noting the irony that these figures were released on the same day Congress allowed hate crime legislation to die, Kingdon also called the numbers "a loud wake-up call" for groups that worked against HCPA.

"Every American has a right to live free of fear, intimidation and violence," Kingdon said. "Congress ignored that right today, but we won't stop until it's a reality for all people."

Christy's Rant Part 1

Dr. James Dobson is the head of Focus On The Family, a conservative Christian organization that claims to support the Christian family (frankly, he hasn't done a darned thing for me and my family). Dobson has a daily radio program which can be heard on WCRF FM 103.3 in the greater Cleveland area. Dobson has authored many well respected books on child rearing and helping the family through the minefield's of modern times. Dobson, however, has a decidedly anti-homosexual point of view and a huge audience of people who hang on his every word. Methods for contacting Dr. James Dobson and Focus On The Family can be found at http://www.fotf.org/postoffice/

The Family Research Council is a right-wing, conservative Christian lobbying group. They can be found on the net at www.frc.org. The following is an extract from their Corporate Family Policies page:

Corporate and business policies profoundly affect families. Family-friendly businesses recognize that supporting the families of workers is one of the most important things they do. They also realize that it is good for business, as more Americans awaken to the fact that policies that artfully redefine the term "family," or treat other social arrangements as morally equal, seriously undermine that "first and vital cell" of any healthy society. The homosexual lobby is one of the most powerful forces affecting societal mores today, making its agenda attractive to corporations. However, homosexual activity is not a civil right, it is a lethal and immoral behavior, and opposition to homosexual behavior is not a discrimination issue, but a moral one.

Many corporations, in order to take advantage of homosexual affluence, have abandoned the family as a social model in favor of homosexuality. Corporations support or promote homosexuality in five ways:

• "Diversity" programs, and "nondiscrimination" policies that treat homosexuality like a racial category. Such policies actually give rhetorical and de facto preference to individuals who profess to engage in dangerous sexual practices, while treating religious people as bigots and moral principle as bigotry. Read the response of one Bank of America VP to his company’s "diversity" program here. (www.frc.org/misc/ar98j2hs.html)
• The natural outgrowth of this is hiring and promotion policies that give similar preferences, such as that instituted for federal workers by President Clinton’s executive order 13087, signed May 28, 1998.
• Benefit and leave policies that redefine family to equate homosexual sex partners with married spouses.
• Sponsorship of organizations engaged in homosexual advocacy in politics, schools, or employee groups for homosexuals.
• Target marketing in homosexual publications, employing "gay" themes, or special associations with homosexual business partners.

The Twelve Top Corporate Sponsors of Homosexuality

AT&T
American Airlines
American Express
Anheuser Busch
Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream
Coors Beer
Disney Corporation
IBM
Kodak
Levi Strauss
Miller Beer
Starbucks Coffee
Subaru

What’s Happening Now

Many of the "usual suspects" among corporations directly involved in homosexual advocacy are currently sponsoring fundraisers hosted by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the nation’s largest homosexual political advocacy organization. Subaru, the founding sponsor of the "Rainbow Card" and its "Rainbow Endowment," funds a number of homosexual groups. Subaru also takes out regular ads in HRC’s quarterly newsletter, and is proudly sponsoring the HRC fundraiser "Laugh Out Loud: A Night of Comedy." American Airlines continues to lend its name to HRC through "official airline" status and is directly sponsoring one of HRC’s events, the upcoming 1998 Dallas Black Tie Dinner (November 7). The airline is listed as a Diamond sponsor of that event, a designation given to corporations donating in excess of $25,000, according to HRC. Also listed as sponsors of the Black Tie Dinner are Emerald Sponsors ($10,000+) American Express and Neiman Marcus; and Ruby Sponsors ($5,000+) NAYA Spring Water and IBM.

Christy's Rant Part 2

Makes me mad enough to want to stop at Starbucks for a decafe latte, fly to Dallas on American Airlines with my American Express with tickets that I booked using my IBM computer and ISP, drinking Miller Sharps in my Levi's, while scarfing some Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey. When I get there, I'll buy a six pack of Coors NA and a Subaru Outback, fill the tank with Mobil, and then drive to Florida, where I'll go to Busch Gardens, Sea World, and all four Disney parks with my camera bag full of Kodak film!!!

Folks, these guys are not only loud, but they are dangerous! And remember, I'm a Christian!!!!! It almost makes me ashamed to admit it! Know your enemy and support our friends. Election day is coming!

This 2-hour, monthly seminar, is geared towards employers and meeting the needs of their transitioning/transgendered employees.

The information being presented would be of particular interest to Social Workers, Physicians, Nurses, Ministers, Librarians, CEO's, EEO and Human Resource Personnel, Fire Fighters/EMT and Law Enforcement Personnel, Educators, Government Officials, Lawyers, Psychologists, Managers, and anyone who would like to know and understand more about this topic/issue.

Randi Barnabee, is a retired Military Officer, was a Military Civil Rights/EEO Facilitator, received her Law Degree in 1997 and has relocated to Cleveland.

Megan Parsons, is a Fire Fighter/EMT by trade, in her spare time teaches related EMT Courses.

Tim Frost is an outside technician and has a background in Communications.

Dates: NOV. 6; Dec 4; Jan 8; Feb 8; Mar 4; Apr 1; May 6; and June 3. (Saturdays)

Time: 9:00am - 11:00am Location: Ameritech, 45 Erieview Plaza, ( At E.9th and St. Clair) (Across from the Galleria Food court) Dayton Room 1-E

Reservations: Call (440) 954-4171 and leave message. "Endorsed by GLEAM (GLBT Employees of Ameritech) and by TransFamily of Cleveland.

TransFam Speaker Bureau is Reforming! Have an interest in reaching out to the community? Want to tell you story? Like to speak in public? Then we need you. The Transfam Speakers Bureau is looking for enthusiastic people to help inform the public on Transgendered issues. Want to find out more? Contact Debra London (email preferred) debxtc@geocities.com or (440)439-3845

SSAFE Coalition has voted to accept TransFamily as one of the collaborative groups. Our name will now appear on all SSAFE brochures along with GLSEN, PFLAG, and Gay Lesbian Center. We need many of you to volunteer to help with their projects. Please call the center (216-522-1999) and Judy Maruszan, identify yourself as a member of TransFamily, and ask what you can do to help. Their biggest project is the annual fund raiser, which is held in either March or April (at the Cleveland International Film Festival). Let's have many of our members available to help with the project. In the fall, there will be a need for many of our members to speak at area schools. Please let the center know if you will be available.

The SSAFE presentation format typically involves volunteers in roles as a panel speaker and/or a more formal presenter of specific workshop topics. Future SSAFE training will feature two different trainings for these two types of roles.

Our panels are the most highly-rated aspect of SSAFE workshops. Panel speakers share a personal story about a school experience or other topic related to the effects of homophobia. In addition, panel speakers answer questions from the audience. The training focuses on how to tell those stories effectively and how to handle audience questions, especially when they may be difficult or even hostile. We also will be learning to connect with the audience and how to build visual images. This training was held on October 30th. Please contact The Center about future training sessions.

The presenter role is being expanded to have more responsibility. The presenter will be able to lead a complete workshop, present various workshop topics, and facilitate panel presentations and audience questions. Presenters should first take the Panel Speaker training. If someone has professional or extensive presentation experience, the panel training may be waived. This workshop will be on November 6th, from 9 am to 4:30 pm at the Red Cross, 3747 Euclid Ave., Cleveland.

The PRYSM Poster Project is underway to increase access to support opportunities for GLBTQ youth throughout the county. The poster is titled “Value Yourself and the World Will Follow” and has a small box with info cards for students to take. We need help distributing posters to businesses and organizations through northeast Ohio. Please call Jen Kruger at The Center.

The Center is planning to start a new support group for adolescents with GLBT parents beginning in the Fall. If anyone is interested call Judy or Jen at The Center. The Center will determine the age range of the group depending on the interest of those who call.

Karen and Bob attended PFLAG's Great Lakes Regional Conference in Dayton Ohio on October 2nd and 3rd. PFLAG President Rev. Paul Beeman and Regional Director Ann Wilger attended as did many members from Indiana, Michigan, and Ohio.

There were outstanding presentations. Marc Adams spoke at a session on Safe Schools; in particular, he spoke about his outreach to students in religious schools. He discussed his personal experiences at a Fundamentalist Christian school and the harm he saw being done to gay students at these schools. He told how that if suspected or caught "being gay," they may be offered the choice of confessing this to the school and/or naming other students suspected of being gay or being expelled. Of course, after the confession or cooperation the student is expelled anyway. Often the student goes home to a very unfriendly climate, since the chances are that the family believes homosexuality is sinful.

There was a panel with 4 clergy persons that spoke on the topic of religious issues and the GLBT community.

Tom Cornell of the National Staff, and Chris Cozad of BRAVO (Buckeye Region Anti Violence Organization) spoke on hate crimes and legislation being considered on that subject. A hate crime is one where a message is being sent to the victim. In short, if you burn a church, it is arson, but if you burn a cross on the front lawn and burn the church at the same time, it is a hate crime as well.

Fred Peterson and Nick Ziza, area psychologists, led a "facilitator's" clinic, where 10 people in the room became participants in a support group. The focus was on what a facilitator should and should not do in a meeting. Do: involve all of the participants and step in when the participants are inappropriate. Do Not: talk very much because the reason you are there is to get others to participate.

One workshop was about Youth Groups in Schools and the new National Guidelines. There was a teacher and student talking about the experience starting a G/S Alliance in their school in Walnut Hills in Cincinnati Ohio; and some of the harassment issues that had to be faced were shared by a student at the school. Title IX helped them a lot. Rhea Murray, author of "Journey of Moriah," spoke about her son's being outed by his minister, and the resulting violence her son faced at school. She is a dynamic speaker who now speaks at college campuses and PFLAG meetings and conducts sensitivity training for police officers, school counselors and social workers.

It is so great to have all these parents who can make a difference for other GLBT children in the future!

Be sure to come visit our new Internet home at www.transfamily.org. We have a bulletin board, chatroom, and all of TransFamily's archived newsletters (the old newsletters have some great articles and information that still deserve attention!).

The new links section is up and ready for your enjoyment. If you know of a link that we should have, or have a personal favorite site to recommend, please send me an email at christy_scott@transfamily.org with a link to the site and a brief description of what the site is about. This includes those of you who have personal home pages. Be sure to let me know about them so I can include them in our "home page" section.

Also new to our site is the "Letters" section. Here you will find letters written by the transgendered, parents, and spouses to other family and friends explaining what it is to be transgendered. Karen and I hope this will become a valuable resource to those who are seeking to understand, as well as those who are struggling to find the right words for their own letters. We hope to be adding more to this library very soon. Again, if you have a contribution to submit, send it to christy_scott@transfamily.org.

We also have an Amazon.com bookstore, which has been pretty successful so far. The titles on the bookstore page will bring the organization between 5 to 15% commission, which will be used to help defray costs of maintaining the web site. If you have a title you'd like to suggest for the bookstore, just drop me a line.

Another important thing to remember about our association with Amazon: If you go to the Amazon site through the ad banner on our site, TransFamily will receive commission on ANYTHING you buy from Amazon. This includes videos, DVD's, music, software, and auction items. So, if you plan on doing any shopping at Amazon, PLEASE go though the banner on the TransFamily site. We will be very appreciative!

I hope that you'll enjoy our new site, www.transfamily.org and find it a valuable resource.

The email lists have been both a rousing success and a disappointment. The disappointment is that activity on the TransFamily list has been very slow. This is the list that was created for our TG's, their spouses, SO's, and friends. Please, don't be afraid to use this resource. You can ask other T's questions about passing, what their first endocrinologist appointment was like, where to buy clothes, where a good stylist can be found, how a wife or husband is coping with their transsexual spouse, and so on. There is a vast amount of information between all of us that can be shared. Let's share, let's ask. As my son would say, "Go for it, dude!"

The rousing success has been the TransKids list, which was created for the parents of TG's, and we have parents from across the globe sharing on the list. The amount of information, support, encouragement, advise, and general chit-chat that the group has exchanged has been truly amazing! Both Karen and I are so delighted with the results. It really has been heartwarming to both of us. We just wish the TG group could become as active, informative, and supportive as the parents list.

The other rousing success has been the brand new TransTeens list. This list is moderated by Christian, and is specifically for our transgendered teens. In the short time this list has been around, Christian has been leading these terrific kids through some amazing discussions. If you're a teenager, this is a great place to hang. If you're the parent of a transgendered teen, recommend this to them. Click here to subscribe to the http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/TransTeens. You can also send an email to Christian at christian@transfamily.org, or to Karen, or even me.

Here are the url's to subscribe to the other email lists at OneList.COM .

Click here to subscribe to the TransFamily Newsletter list http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/TransFamilyNews.

Click here to subscribe to the TransKids list http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/TransKidsFamily.

Click here to subscribe to the TransFamily discussion group http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/TransFamilyofCleve.

Remember, all subscriptions are approved by Karen, to ensure that the list's confidentiality will be maintained. Messages are sent to the list mail box, rather than the individual, and everyone receives a copy of the message. Anyone on the list can respond to a message. If you desire to personally respond to a message, privately and off of the list, please remember to change the email address from the list to the individual's. If you're concerned about getting too many e-mail's from the list, you can subscribe to a "digest" version of this list, which is delivered daily.

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Florida school says boy in drag can't be queen

© Reuters September 30, 1999, TAMPA, Fla. - JaVonn Hicks dreams of being homecoming queen but a Florida school district says no way. JaVonn Hicks is a boy. ``It's not a sexual orientation issue,'' Hillsborough County public school spokesman Mark Hart told the Tampa Tribune in a story published on Thursday. ``It's about equity.'' Hart said Hicks' school would choose both a homecoming king and a homecoming queen, with boys running for king and girls for queen. ``If there wasn't a category for him to participate, then he would have the right to be homecoming queen,'' Hart said. ``He has the opportunity to run, because he's a boy, for king.'' The 17-year-old student, who wears blue polish on perfectly manicured nails, has been allowed to dress in drag since his sophomore year at Tampa Bay Vo-Tech, the Tribune reported. The newspaper said Hicks, whose bedroom resembles that of any high school girl, with fashion magazines, lipstick, curling iron and fingernail polish strewn about, was diagnosed with gender identity disorder but does not want a sex change operation. He dresses as a girl because he is more comfortable that way. ``I'm a very fashionable boy,'' said Hicks, who says he is gay. ``I'm happy the way I am. I don't know why I was born a boy or why this is happening to me. I just take the bitter with the sweet.'' Tampa Bay Vo-Tech Principal Sylvia Albritton said Hicks has been well accepted by other students. ``The student body has been very supportive of him,'' she said. ``He's a respectable student and he's very stylish in what he wears.'' Hicks' slinky black prom dress hangs in his closet and he is still hoping school officials change their minds before the queen is crowned Oct. 23. ``It's something I really want to do,'' he told the Tribune. ``I'm not ashamed of who I am. No student should be discriminated against.''

We'd like to talk to you about something important that has to do with your Aunt Denise. One time you asked me if girls were always girls and boys were always boys, and I told you that usually girls were born looking and feeling like girls inside, and boys were born looking and feeling like boys. But for a few people they are born looking like a boy and feeling like a girl, or looking like girl and feeling like a boy inside. That is what happened when your Aunt Denise was born, she looked like a girl, but from the time she was very little has always felt like a boy.

She has felt like that her whole life, when someone is born like that, it gets harder and harder for them as they grow up to look one way on but feel a different way on the inside, they do not feel happy inside because of it. It's not their fault this happened, it happens because of a mistake that happened while the baby was in the mommy's tummy. Aunt Denise should have been born with a boy's body but because of the mistake she ended up with a girls body.

There are doctors that know all about people like your Aunt Denise and they can help them feel better about themselves. One way they do this is with special medicine. This medicine helps them look more like a boy to match how they feel on the inside. Aunt Denise does not and will not change on the inside, she is still the same funny, loving person that we all know and love, just the way she looks will change.

After she has taken this medicine for a while, she might get some whiskers like Daddy and she won't shave the hair on her legs or under her arms any more like Mommy does, she will start to look more and more like a boy. The most important thing to remember is that she will still be the same person she will just look a little different. Everyone will start to see Denise a boy instead of a girl. She will even need to use a different name. She will need and want to be called Danny, since Denise is a girls name, she needed a new name to match the way she looks on the outside. It's going to take practice for every one to remember to call her Danny, you instead of Denise, sometimes we will slip and say the other name, but that's OK, we can just remind each other.

Everyone in our family know about the changes that Aunt Denise will be going through- Aunt Michelle, Uncle Joe, Gina, Grandma Bea, Nina Aunt Betty, Joey and Maria, Grandma Mary and Grandpa Paul, Aunt Susie, Aunt Linda, Aunt Phyllis, and Uncle Guy. Everyone needs time to get used to this change, but everyone loves Aunt Denise very much and wants her to be happy. It's OK to talk to people in our family about it we are all here to listen and answer questions any time you need to talk. But people who don't know Aunt Denise and who are not in our family might not understand what she is going through. Because what happened to Aunt Denise does not happen to very many people in the world they might not be able to understand it, so we don't need to explain it to other people outside our family. We can just say "my Uncle Danny" or "my Brother Danny" we don't have to say Danny used to be called Denise. This is one of those things that is private, it is Denise's private business, so we will not telling other people at this time.

Also this is not something that will ever happen to me or you or Daddy or Gina. It happens before a baby is even born. You and I and Gina are girls on the inside and outside, and Daddy is boy on the inside and outside and that will never change.

Remember that Aunt Denise is still the same person she has always been, she will just start looking more like a boy, her voice will get deeper and she will be called by a different name. She will still be the same person she is now, her heart is still the same and she will love in the same way she does now.

Hey everyone! I was hoping you could help me with a paper I'm doing for my Soc of Gender class. I'm writing it on transsexuality, but I'm looking at it from a more personal, emotional standpoint. The title is "Transsexuals: Lives of Hardship, Lives of Celebration." In order to make the paper a good one, I need the input of other transpeople. So, I composed some questions I think will be interesting and give me some answers I can work with.

• What's your age?
• Are you mtf or ftm?
• Would you say your life would be better or worse if you weren't trans?
• If you could change one thing about yourself, would it be your transsexuality?
• Do you wish you weren't trans? If not, did you ever?
• Overall, do you enjoy being trans?
• What's the best thing about being trans?
• What's the worst?

If you are concerned about anonymity, please don't worry. I will only be using your age and whether or not you are ftm or mtf. Answer the questions as fully as you wish. If you just want to answer "yes" or "no," that's quite all right. If you want to write a book, that's ok, too. If you don't want to answer all of them, you don't have to. Just answer the ones you want. If you don't want to answer any at all, that's cool, too.

Please send your answers to me at christian@transfamily.org or snail mail them to Karen. Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it.

Several of us have been toying with the idea of forming a Bible study group, with the object being to help nurture our unique spiritual needs. If you would be interested in such a group, please send me an email at christy_scott@transfamily.org and let me know.

The Baseball Game

Bob and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team. The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs.

They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate whose name was Love. Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because Love never fails. The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love. The next batter up was named Godly wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch. Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass: Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked, because Godly wisdom never swings at what Satan throws.

The bases were loaded. The Lord then turned to Bob and told him He was now going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Bob said, "He sure doesn't look like much!" Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace. Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch.

To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen. But Satan was not worried; his center fielder let very few get by. He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground; then it continued over the fence for a home run! The Lord's team won.

The Lord then asked Bob if he knew why Love, Faith, and Godly Wisdom could get on base but could not win the game. Bob answered that he did not know why. The Lord explained, "If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, faith and wisdom will get you on base, but only My Grace can get you home. My Grace is the one thing Satan cannot stop!"

Amen!

I have been collecting through donations and cleaning and some folks I know who are moving. I have quite a lot of clothing, baking pans and muffin pans,etc and clothing which I would like to get to those who can use it. It would be a great idea to have a clothing exchange!! Anyone interested?

Contact Kateygr@aol.com to let me know. In the meantime, I have also collected a lot of serving pieces that have been left behind and need to find their old homes or new homes:o) So please start collecting your unwanted clothing and bring it to the next meeting. Many others can use what you have no further use for.

Hey folks, we need some input. This family newsletter is for the whole group. Please share! Turn in articles and ideas as soon as possible so that they may be included in the next newsletter. Also, don’t forget to inform us of the date, time and place of upcoming events.

If you have any ideas, articles, poems, etc. for the next newsletter, please get them to Karen or Christy at the next meeting, or calling (216) 691-HELP (4357) or e-mail Karen at karen_gross@transfamily.org or Christy at christy_scott@transfamily.org

Just a reminder that we are still collecting "Before and After" pictures for the collage that Karen is creating. This collage will be used at speaking engagements to "put a face" on the issues of transgenderism. If you would like to contribute your face(s), please give the pictures to Karen.

Our library is still missing many books and videos. If you have borrowed something from the library and did not sign it out, please return them so that we can keep track of our library items and make them available to others. (This includes items that were borrowed before the sign out policy was implemented.) Books and copies of videos are expensive. We want to keep our library stocked and available, so please help by making sure that you sign out and return all items. Thanks.

November

November 2 Election Day Vote!

November 4 TransFamily of Cleveland, 6:30pm, call 216-691-HELP (4357) or e-mail to karen_gross@transfamily.org for directions.

November 6 SSAFE Workshop Presenter Training 9 am to 4:30 pm at the Red Cross, 3747 Euclid Ave., Cleveland. Call The Center for more details.

November 11 It's Time Ohio Cleveland meeting, location TBA.

November 11 Veterans' Day Go hug a vet and let them know you appreciate their sacrifice.

November 15 Hillcrest/NE Ohio PFLAG, 7pm at the Noble Road Presbyterian Church, 2728 Noble Rd., Cleveland Heights, call 216-691-HELP (4357) or e-mail to Kateygr@aol.com

WHO: You, we hope! And other folks from around Ohio who want to help bring about equal rights for transpeople in Ohio.

WHAT: The November meeting of It's Time, Ohio!

WHERE:The location will be announced shortly.

WHEN:Thursday, November 11, at 7:30 PM.

WHY:To help make Ohio safe for gender-variant people like us, because your support is urgently needed, because it's empowering and lots of fun, and because we like you! M-O-U-S-E.

Comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer will be performing in Dayton on Friday, November 5th at Jessie's Celebrity at 8pm. This is a fundraising event for the Dayton Lesbian & Gay Center. Tickets prices are as follows: $35 in advance ($38 at the door) for Reserved seating, which includes meeting Suzanne after the show!! $15 in advance ($18 at the door) for General admission. Tickets may be purchased at Celebrity's or at the Q! Gift Shop both on N. Main St. in Dayton. Proceeds to go to the DLGC's "Buy A Brick" program. For more information visit our web site at: http:direct.at/DLGC or call Niki and/or Nancy at: (937) 428-0776.

The Northeast Regional Conference of PFLAG will be held in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, on November 13th and 14th. A major feature will be a transgender workshop/presentation with 4 TG people (1 non-op FTM, 1 FTM whose SRS date's back 20 years, 1 MTF, ! CD) and the mother of a youthful FTM from Shrewsbury, MA. Daphne Reed, Regional Director of NE Region's TNET, will present the speakers.

Preview announcements of Fall TV shows that will feature gay/trans characters and plots include ABC's O, Grow Up, Wasteland, Then Came You, Drew Carey Show, Will and Grace, Spin City; also, NBC's Suddenly Susan, Friends, Profiler, Homicide: Life on the Street, NYPD Blue, ER, Veronica's Closet; also, CBS's Chicago Hope, Nash Bridges; also FOX's Action, Beverly Hills, Simpsons; also WB's Popular, Dawson's Creek; also PBS's [questionable] Sesame St., Teletubbies; and Comedy Central's South Park.

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Fall Harvest '99

Maggie's 10th annual Fall Harvest will be held in Milwaukee on November 11th through the 13th at the Radisson Hotel Mayfair. Invited presenters include Sandra Cole, Randi Ettner, and Dr. Shelia Kirk

For more information you can email fallharvest99@usa.net, check the web site at www.netwurx.net/~fallharv99 or call 414-297-9328.

The 14th Annual The International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE) National Convention is scheduled for March 22nd through the 26th, 2000 at the Hilton Crystal City in Arlington, Virginia. To make sure you get details about this event when they become available, write to:

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Horizons 2000

The World Congress of Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Jewish Organizations and New Jersey's Lesbian and Gay Havurah proudly announce that they will co-host HORIZONS 2000, the 16th World Conference of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Jews. The conference will take place from Thursday, July 27 through Sunday, July 30, 2000, at the Woodcliff Lake Hilton, Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey.

New Jersey's Lesbian and Gay Havurah has been home to the area's Jewish/Gay community for nearly a decade. The Havurah is honored to have been chosen to host this international conference for The World Congress in their 20th anniversary year. It is anticipated that 300 attendees from as far away as Israel, South America and Eastern Europe will participate in this conference in northern New Jersey.

The conference will feature seminars, entertainment, religious services, speakers and schmoozing. For more information, call 1-732-650-1010, write to HORIZONS 2000, P. O. Box 2576, Edison, NJ 08818-2576, send email to conf@njhav.org, or visit us on the web at www.njhav.org

TransFamily is still compiling a collection of gender-friendly services and resources for our membership. This guide will include medical, legal, and psychological resources that have been endorsed by our members, families, and friends. In addition, we want to post other businesses and resources we have dealt with on day-to-day matters, such as stores, restaurants, garages, etc.

The guide will serve as the first practical guide for gay, lesbian, bisexual and `transgender individuals seeking community assistance in this area. It is further envisioned that these businesses will advertise in our newsletter and/or possibly provide us with group support in the communities, in which we live and work.

Before any individual or business can be listed a consent form must be obtained and recorded in our files. The forms will be made available at the November TransFamily Meeting.

We're also looking for some volunteers to help assemble the listings that we have already collected. If you're interested in helping, and getting a sneak peak at the list, give Karen a call at (216) 691-HELP (4357) or e-mail Karen at karen_gross@transfamily.org.

Newsletter Advertisements and Notices

If you have a business venture that you wish to announce or advertise in the TransFamily newsletter and on the TransFamily web site, our new policy is described below.

• A one time, one paragraph announcement for a TransFamily member's business will be run for free.
• To continue advertising in subsequent issues, you will need to supply a business card, or ad copy that will fit into a 2 x 3 1/2 inch space. If the ad material are sent through email, the actual copy and any accompanying images should be sent separately. The copy should be in a TXT file, while logos/images should be either JPG, TIF, or GIF format. Send this information to advertise@transfamily.org.
• The rate for these advertisements are $5 for one issue or $25 for six issues.

TransFamily of Cleveland was founded to provide support and education for transgender persons, their families, friends and significant others. We hope to form an outreach group to promote awareness of transgender persons and their issues through PFLAG and to bring awareness to our school systems, through their principals and counselors, by offering literature, speakers, consultation and support.

Every once in a while you manage to find a needle in the haystack.... a diamond in the rough. The British import Different For Girls is one of those rarities. This film is a love story at its heart. But on the way, it's also the most sensitive and honest portrait of transsexuals that cinema has managed yet.

Fifteen years after graduation, high school friends Prentiss and Karl accidentally bump into each other. Prentiss is a bit of a failure at life. After years of trying various occupations, he finds himself working as a motorcycle package courier, desperately trying to make ends meet and keep his cycle from being repossessed. He's still living as if he never hit his 19th birthday; immature and irresponsible.

Karl, however, has gone through some changes. After discovering that he wasn't gay, as his classmates thought, Karl came to understand that he was actually Kim. He underwent sex reassignment surgery and has been successfully living as a woman. She has been working in blissful anonymity at a greeting card company, composing "sentiments," until Prentiss comes crashing back into her life.

Prentiss' curiosity about what his friend has become quickly turns Kim's life completely upside down and brings a very much unwanted spotlight upon her. Kim wants to run away from the chaos that Prentiss has brought with him, but she finds herself attracted to him. And, Prentiss' interest in Kim goes beyond curiosity. After a couple of uneasy get togethers, he's amazed to see he's courting Kim.

The film brings out many issues that transsexuals must deal with. Hate crimes, misunderstandings of what they are, their desire to fade into the background and have their past disappear. Without being sensationalistic, the film explains the hows and whys of the transgendered. It's a far cry from previous films like the infamous Myra Breckenridge and is certainly not a "guys in drag" film the abysmal To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar. In fact, Different For Girls is more in line with the upcoming docu-drama Boys Don't Cry for realism and sympathy.

Steven Mackintosh is Kim and he plays the character with absolute truth and believability. The character's makeup and prosthetics, designed by Fae Hammond, is flawless and complete the illusion that Kim IS female. Prentiss is played with all the appropriate bluster, anger, confusion, and affection by Rupert Graves. Miriam Margolyes makes the most of a small role as Kim's employer, while Saskia Reeves is a delight as Kim's sister who is undergoing a life crisis of her own.

The film was released by First Look Pictures and is presently available on video. It won the Grand Prix of the Americas Award at the 1996 Montreal World Film Festival and high critical praise at the Sundance Film Festival. Different For Girls was written by Tony Marchant and directed by Richard Spence.

Next month we'll look at the critically acclaimed film Boys Don't Cry

For our December meeting, we are planning to have a quest speaker. We are excited to be joined by the author Marc Adams. The press release below will give you a little background about Marc and the book he has written. He will have his books available for purchase and signing. He's a great speaker and wonderful person. He will be with his partner, Todd Tuttle. Bob and I have heard him twice now and have enjoyed both presentations. I know you will all enjoy hearing his story. Please plan for this meeting and we will dispense with the dinner part and only have finger foods. More information to follow in the December newsletter.

In his book, Adams chronicles the story of his life growing up the son of a fundamentalist Baptist minister. The book weaves its way through Adams’ life and the author writes about his experiences as a student and employee of Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University. The ultimate act of coming out to his family is an especially notable portion of the book.

"I began writing this book ten years ago when I was a student at Liberty College," Adams says. "I wanted to write a book that helped other young men and women caught in the confusion of whether or not to accept their homosexuality. I wanted to let them know that it was possible to change. I wanted to share how I had managed to harness the power of God and change my sexual orientation. Now the book is complete and it bears a totally different message than when I started writing."

"I know many people in the fundamentalist movement, young and old, who are trapped in their closets," Adams continues. "The purpose of this book is to let people know what it’s like to grow up gay in that environment. I hope that I can provide some guidance to anyone who is considering changing their life and coming out. My life would have been so much easier if someone ahead of me had provided guidance."

"This is not a tell-all book about Jerry Falwell," Adams warns. "It’s about understanding myself and my life. I want readers to understand what it was like to grow up under the banner of fundamentalism - my conversion and life as a preacher’s kid, the church services, attending Christian high schools, and attending a fundamentalist college where Falwell and his influence was everywhere. I want them to understand what it was like to work for him, promote his organization and recruit students to attend Liberty. And most importantly, I want readers to feel what it’s like to give up everything just to say, ‘I’m gay.’"

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